Lived Experience Forum

[Princessmolly]

Who else finds it impossible to maintain relationships?? I try so so hard with people, i just must be lacking somehow because people just do not like me. For example:
# I work with a heap of women who have kids my kids age. We webt to uni together and used to hang out. They regularly catch up. I used to be invited but its been over a year since an invite. When i invite them no one replies or shows up. Im facebook friends with them so see all their gatherings online.
# My sister who i never see is holidaying 1 hour from my house.....no work on catching up.
# my mothers groip ignored me till i left.
# My best friend is having a party tonight that i am not invited to.....she is everything to me and im obviously nothing to her.
# my other "friend" is never avail because her kid is always "napping" if he is tryly nappung as much as she says she needs to go to a dr stat.
# i frequently find out im not friends with people when i am deleted off facebook. This has happened quite a few times.
Damn facebook makes you realise how messed up your life really is.
I have depression but i dont post rmo stuff online i rarely post anything because i figure no one cares about my life anyway.
Anyway i am lonely.
The end.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Princessmolly 😊
Sorry to read that you are feeling alone. 💕

Are your children young and still at home with you?

What sort of things do you do on weekends?

Facebook can be very rejecting. I haven't spent much time on there lately.

It's hard keeping friendships when we struggle with depression.

I struggle with PTSD, anxiety and depression.
I'm married and have a daughter.

Look forward to hearing from you. 🌷🌹🌽🌻🌸🌺

[Former-Member]

Hey @Princessmolly,

That sounds really hurtful. I am not sure what to say but wanted to say I can understand you must be hurting now a great deal. Facebook can be a blessing or a burden I think. Maybe its time to log off a while. Feel free to join in the beer garden thread if you want to chat to someone here, there is usually someone to have a coffee or drink with. Sorry I'm not much help, just feeling a bit crappy myself and have come on here to try to connect as I currently don't have much of a life that I feel connected to. Take care @Princessmolly 

[Princessmolly]

Hey guys thanks for your replies. I have a toddler. I work part time on opposite shifts to hubby so i am home alone on weekends which is the worst. Everyone does family stuff on weekends or goes out for dinner etc and i dont have a sitter sooo. I deel like such a tool hanging around alone in parks while everyone else is in groups but i force myself to do it for my childs sake. I just want friendships where a catch up dosent take a week of back and forwards messages just to have someone cancel last min because they cant be bothered etc. People dont realise that could be your one outing planned for a fortnight. On weekends i go to markets, parks, lunch with my son and the pool. Sorry to hear you are feeling crappy @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

It's awesome you are getting out heaps @Princessmolly. Sorry you got me at my lowest point today. I'll be ok, just got to suck it up a bit and hope tomorrow is better. It sucks that you've been let down so much. I hope things get better. Take care💜🤗

[Kurra]

Just assume tomorrow is going to be a better day and then make it so . You might surprise yourself! Make good positive plans and then put that plan into action.
Tomorrow I'm taking and elderly friend and her disabled daughter to the Direct Factory Outlet. I can see I'm going to need to claim sore feet and back so I can ensure my elderly friend doesn't exhaust herself. I had to do the same with my poor old Mum otherwise she would have kept pushing herself past her limitations 😆😳 It worked out well though. 🎶💕

[Former-Member]

Hi @Princessmolly

I feel the same. i have no social life for me. I'm a single mum, my kids are both in junior primary at school. I have a friend who looks after the kids sometimes if i have an appointment but thats all. and thats all i ever see of my friend these days as well. just when im dropping off the kids and picking them up. she's always busy, has a large extended family and commitments etc. 

The people i work with either have no kids or their kids are older teenagers so they do stuff that isnt suitable for young kids.. not to mention usually out of my price range sigh. so even if i do get invited to something... 

I love my kids and wouldnt change having htem for the world but sometimes i find it so hard doing everything just for them. 

I always feel the same, went to the indoor playground iwth the kids today and i was the only adult sitting alone at a table. i always feel like the odd one out everywhere. but the kids had a great time and i had a coffee and read for a bit. 

sorry, rambled about me! but i think i understand where you're at, unfortunately.

lj

[Former-Member]

Sometimes life doesn't make sense, unfortunately @Princessmolly 💕

Just keep trying. Maybe try different mums groups. What are your interests?
Perhaps find a group that does what you're interested in, whether it be craft, art, photography? ??? Often community centres have different groups going, so does the library.

I understand. I remember when my girl was a toddler, it can be very lonely. Don't give up.

💜🌸🌹

[Sahara]

Hi @Princessmolly,

it sounds to me like you have had friends in your life but that you've drifted apart from them. Well, friends do come and go.... I'm probably not the one to be able to give great advice, since I had a very long, torturous history of losing friends....

It helps me to reflect on each friend individually and think about the friendship from their point of view. What did they like about you and what were they getting from the friendship at the time? Did you get any valuable feedback on what you were like as a friend and what your best qualities were?

Not every friend is destined to be in our lives forever.

I remember one girl I used to hang out with all the time.. going to restaurants, bars, pubs, hanging out at each others houses... talking about everything under the sun. Then she suddenly moved to a different city... it was very quick- she told me she had to move for work and like one week later she was gone! After that, she never ever answered my calls or returned my calls when I left a message. She didn't answer my emails either! Poof! It's like she just disappeared. 

What did I learn from this? I don't really know... perhaps that people are unpredictable? 

I guess if I were you I might contact your 'best friend' and ask her if there was any reason why she didn't invite you to her party... maybe there is a good reason? But you need to talk it over or else she wont know you felt rejected. 

And maybe give your sister a call and ask if you can go over and see her?

[Nikolai]

Hi @Princessmolly

I am so sorry to hear you are struggling so much at the moment.

I'm a bit like @Sahara, I have had a very unstable history as far as friendships go, and that goes back to Primary School.

I have BPD so I quite often assumed I was the problem, but recently I have contacted people who I was incredibly close to and drifted apart from. I asked for honest answers to see if I was the cause of the relationship breaking down, and it turns out I wasn't. It was simply that life got in the way, and a lot of people are not good at prioritising.

I totally agree with the facebook issue, I have deactivated my account and been off facebook for approximately 3 months. I must say it has been incredibly helpful to my mental well-being. I would quite often spend hours looking at other peoples lives and comparing them to mine. Something important to remember is people only post on social media the things they want the world to see. We don't see the dark side of their lives, which everybody has.

I am fairly isolated, I work from home and have very few friends and no family where I live, but this forum has been a lifesaver for me. Anything that is really important to me I feel I can discuss on here openly, and honestly, and there always seems to be someone who wants to listen, wants to help, wants to share their story with you.

I am very thankful for that.