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Helping a loved one who doesn't want help

Hello @NikNik, @Lauz, @Margot

after last night`s topic tuesday  discussion , I thought starting this thread to continue

Hello @sbmc, @Adge, @Sherry, , @menundi83, @Yabitha, @Corny@Gaye1 , @HayleyC, @daisymae, @Kelly@Lizard, @Flick88,
@Faith-and-Hope, @Darcy, @Former-Membermorning 1.jpg





Re: Helping a loved one who doesn't want help

Hello @Kelly and @Adge, how are you today Heart

cleaned my mum`s house today and did all the things she wanted done down town xx

Re: Helping a loved one who doesn't want help

Hi Shaz51, That's good you achieved something? Which is always good. I went for a walk with a close friend which was lovely but totally forgot it was her birthday! and now wondering whether to ring the hospital to see how my son is but some of me doesn't want to.🤔

Re: Helping a loved one who doesn't want help

  that was lovely you went for a walk with a close friend today @Kelly, sounds like you both enjoyed it HeartHeart

Re: Helping a loved one who doesn't want help

That sounds productive & helpful @Shaz51

I think I'm coming down with the "dreaded lurgy" (as Dad used to say) - which means a virus or infection.

It was a struggle working today with client in the rain (feeling yuk).

The puddles got through my shoes, so I came home with soggy fee (& socks).

If I'm feeling more unwell tomorrow morning, then I should call in sick & go to the Dr.

Unfortunately I never seem to recover from infections in just 1 or 2 days...


Re: Helping a loved one who doesn't want help

to help a loved one who doesnot help, we need first try to understand her/his situation and she/he has to be in need the demand has to come but she/he may be afraid of requesting the need he/she wants. so, the first thing you have to know is men are like a ruber they streach away for some time and we need to understand that because they are staying away not because they hate us but they need some time alone. so in that case we need to surprise them in the morning when they wake up by cooking delicious food,radying their work close near by and to give them a kiss on forhead when they go to work and women has to look beautiful and attractive everytime they do not need to waive emotionally too.

Re: Helping a loved one who doesn't want help

Being true to yourself: It's important not to blame yourself for a loved one's choices, or even for behaviors they don't have a choice in. Don't make it all about you, but don't make it all about them either. Take care of yourself, don't ignore your own boundaries. No matter how unable they are to change, it doesn't mean they get to call the shots when your well-being is at stake. If you can stand your ground in a way that is safe for them, do so. Keep in mind that allowing someone to be a tyrant doesn't save them from anything, it only makes you both more miserable.


Be true to your loved one(s): Loving unconditionally can be very hard sometimes. If you are able to continue a relationship with an unwell loved one, work to take yourself out of the equation. Try to avoid occupying the bulk of your time with them nagging or waiting for an opportunity to force change. Your interactions with them may require some coffee talk. Think about what is important to them and talk about that when you feel tempted to push them towards seeking help yet again. People require your transparency. It allows them a safe space to be the best they can be.

If you need to, however, don't be afraid to distance yourself from them or cut them off entirely until they express an earnest desire to get better. Let them know, in a factual manner, why you won't be around as much, if at all. Tell them that when they are ready to change you'd be happy to help, but until then you must meet your own needs. Some people have to come to a decision themselves, no matter how dark things may get for them. Sometimes, as in my own case, people must hit rock bottom before they reach for the light, so to speak. One firm request for them to seek help may not have been as disregarded as you may believe. When and if they come to the decision themselves, they may have more of a chance of listening to you in the future, whether or not you ever know it. 


None of us can know what processes go on inside another person.

Re: Helping a loved one who doesn't want help

good afternoon @Daughterdid, @eshawije, @Adge, @Kelly

how is everyone this weekend

Re: Helping a loved one who doesn't want help

Those Australian Deserts (food inventions) that we're discussing on Hot Choc thread - are making me want one @Shaz51

I thought of Lamingtons, then smc mentioned Pavlova & Peach Melba...

The cat dug her claw deep into the nape (soft part) of my neck.

So it's rather sore, & stinging from the Iodine that I put on it.


Re: Helping a loved one who doesn't want help

Re: Helping a loved one who doesn't want help

This Tuesday 22nd October

our topic will be "Helping a loved one who doesn't want help"


For this event we have special guest @Daphne who is the Manager of the SANE Australia Help Centre and supports the counsellors both clinically and operationally. @Daphne has extensive experience as a counsellor in the Mental Health sector and has worked with both people whom live with mental health issues and their carers or family and friends.


We will be idea and knowledge sharing around tools and reflecting on feelings that can come up for you as the supporter/loved one/carer and balancing your own wellbeing. 

@Suzanne101, @CheerBear , @Adge , @Daughterdid , @eshawije , @Kelly , @outlander , @nashy , @Lauz 

and we can talk here before and after the event  xxxx


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