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Janey
Casual Contributor

My son is struggling really hard...

Hi, I have been reading this forum for a long time and helped me so much.... 

But I don’t know what to do anymore so I thought I asked for help.

My son is early twenty now and discharged from hospital about a month ago. He was in hospital for 5 weeks.  This is his second hospitalization. He had first hospitalization three years ago and diagnosed schizophrenia. He is on ITO and on monthly depo medication again.

I knew he was still delusional when he got discharged this time but his delusions is getting stronger last few days.  He has been talking about the device implanted on his wrist when he broke his wrist at 15 years old. There is no such device in his wrist but he believes there is and the device is sending him weird thoughts. He didnt talk about it all the time but now and then he did.  But recently he started talking about a lot and went to see the doctor to get the device out of his wrist.  He told me he won’t say to the doctor “device” but he will tell that  the little bone tips are annoying him.  Off course doctor didn’t cut his wrist to get bone tips out as he wished. That was last week. 

Then two days ago, I noticed there is scar on his wrist looks like skin got peeled.  I asked him what happened.  He said he took the device out by himself. 

He spend all day sitting in a chair outside away from the house.  I went to talk to him a few times but he told me to leave him alone in unfriendly way. He seems to digging the scar with his finger....  His mood seems to change a lot and recently became very sad, angry, very distant,,,, he refuses to go to counselling and running out of friends because he thinks they are against him...  

When he got discharged, I felt he is not much deffirent from the time he got taken to hospital 5 weeks ago.  Psych team and case manager told me that recovery takes time.. I took off from my work and came back to look after him in my house. After discharged he came back with me but went out to friends place a lot and stayed his father place for a while but recently came back to my place.  His father said didn’t have fight with him but not good feeling between them. 

I have a male adult who is renting a room. My son has been very fond of him but my son became unfriendly towards him for the first time last night.   so he is isolating him totally.... not talking to me either....

i don’t know ant to do....

12 REPLIES 12

Re: My son is struggling really hard...

@Janey  Hi Janey sorry to hear about problems re your son.  Basically the docs are right it can take some time, months, for there to be any great improvement. In saying that I would be taking son to a psychiatrist to get another opinion. If son doesn't want to go well at age 20 he cannot be forced unless he is a danger to himself or others. If he is then call the ambos to have him admitted to a mental health unit.

 

I am saying this in all seriousness if you feel afraid call an ambulance and have him admitted. He won't thank you for it but you have to think of your safety as well as his. greenpea

Re: My son is struggling really hard...

@greenpea A thank you for your message. 

I told my son’s case manager about my concern this morning. Then The case manager rang me back in the afternoon told me that they decided to send him to hospital and police is on the way to pick up my son..... I said no!!!! But he said he can not change any more.... I was panicked and wanted go away with my son but police came and took him to hospital.... I’m so exhausted and can not think any more tonight...

Re: My son is struggling really hard...

@Janey  😞 I feel your pain Janey. It is awful particularly when the police have to come and take our sons away (it has happened to me and I still haven't gotten over it - 10 years ago now). Try and remember how you are doing the right thing. Visit your son and know he is in the best place possible.

 

Above all take this time to look after yourself. Do lots of self care as your son needs his mum wel and strong. Lots of love greenpea x

Re: My son is struggling really hard...

How are you doing today @Janey? So sorry to read about the way things went with the case manager! Have you been able to check in and see how your son is going now he's in care? 

Re: My son is struggling really hard...

@greenpea and @Ali11 thank you for your message.

i went in to see him yesterday.  He said to me that he likes to handle the situation by himself so I left him and went back  to see him later  but he didn’t want me to stay.  He does not understad why he had to be in hospital. He hasn’t done anything wrong. He is struggling really hard and he is trying to make sense what is going on. But his brain or mind is spinning much much faster than he ever can cope....I feel his pain.

I talked to doctor today on phone and I told her that I want to bring him home but they said they will keep him there at least till next Tuesday... I called him in hospital asking anything he wants me to bring..he said Lawyer. His voice was quite cold.  I felt mentally exhausted totally so didn’t go to see him. His father told me he was going in to see him. So I called to ask him how our son was. He said he didn’t stay long and he  was fine and he is going away for four days for holiday.  I never understand my ex-husband.  I don’t need to judge what he does but I found often too hard to comprehend. 

I have been strong but today I feel broken.... but I know I am strong and tomorrow will come.... I will go to see him and take him out for leave hopefully.  

 

Re: My son is struggling really hard...

@Janey  it is so hard but you son is in the right place for the moment. A place where he can be monitored and the doctors can make sure he has his medication. I know the feeling of being broken (believe me I do ...) but things will improve and your son will get better, nothing stays the same forever. Are you taking good care of yourself while he is in hospital? Doing something for yourself everyday. Even if it is something really small like having a cup of tea in your favourite china cup. Having a child with a mi can be so isolating. Do you have friends in real life who understand your situation?

 

If not don't worry we are here, your internet family and friends, and are not going anywhere xxx

Re: My son is struggling really hard...

Thanks for your kind message, @greenpea. I do look after myself by swimming and bush walking.  I know those things helps to heal me big time.  But I had to call 24 hours peers support and one friend and my sister overseas on top of reading and writing in this formum yesterday.  I felt really down yesterday,

i thought it’s funny that you mentioned little thing like having coffee in your favourite cup.  I do those things all the time too. I call it little happiness. I always try to find little happiness.  Plenty of them sound us if you chose to find it. 

When I go for a walk with my son, we try to point out how beautiful every single things in nature....

im going to call hospital now and ask how he is and go to see him.  

Re: My son is struggling really hard...

Thanks for sharing your updates @Janey, it sounds like you are looking after yourself in amidst of everything going on. Did you manage to see your son today? How is he doing? 

Re: My son is struggling really hard...

Thanks for asking.  Yes, I went to see my son.  

When I got there, he was sitting with another female patient and seemed calm. But he was emotional, crying sometimes and smiling sometimes.  It seemed that he was comforted by sharing pain with her.  I felt he was in right place....  I felt he was safer than he was at home, that’s what I felt.... I guess I had to share my concerns with his case manager because I was feeling nervous about keeping him safe.  It’s painful to accept that he had to go back to hospital but reality is he was not getting better. It is so painful. Less and less to see my son I once know. I should be more positive and need to believe he will get better.  He will. 

I have been reading other people stories similar to my son’s condition, I see the pattern  that people suddenly stop posting messages.  I hope that’s good sign. Their loved ones are getting better so they don’t need to come back to forum.....

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