Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

Mr Shaz cancelling help ... no surprise-- yep no surprisemy @Former-Member 

yes mum was home for one day and had a fall , stayed in hospital overnight , but home again tonight xx

[Shaz51]

hello my @Former-Member  xoxoxo

[Determined]

@Shaz51 , feeling for you 😔

Have to admit I have been guilty of cancelling help like that... sometimes  it can feel like the help is more stressful than the stress we are dealing with. I wonder if it is a guy thing and the emotional cost of accepting and admitting we are not coping?  The wrong fit in 'helper' can sometimes make that feel worse 😡 (embarassed smiley/ frowney that was suposed to be)...

[Shaz51]

Hi @Determined , my noticiations are playing up tonight , sorry xxx

yes mr haz has one thing that is what to fix up but he is not getting a solution

[Smc]

"The wrong fit in 'helper' can sometimes make that feel worse"

I wonder if that's partially because when things are hard going, we're desperately trying to keep things as much in order as we can, and if someone else comes in to "help" but they're doing it differently, it feels like they're threatening to upset all our precariously balanced arrangements...

[Shaz51]

@Smc, @Determined , @Former-Member 

m shaz is gaining weight caused by his meds , he wants a solution

[Former-Member]

Weight gain = yikes, but is he feeling any better mentally @Shaz51 ?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Shaz51 

Sorry I missed your post to me last night.  No notifications came through until this morning!  

Thanks for thinking of me.  And really sorry to hear that Mr Shaz has decided to cut off any assistance he may have had.  Very disappointing to say the least.  And so unfair on you.

I hope your Mum is settling back into home again after her overnight hospital stay a couple of nights ago.  I have been reading your other thread about what to do about your Mum.  With a lot of interest because my own Mum is in much the same situation.  Refusing outside assistance, but honestly not up to managing adequately for herself and my Dad.  It is so terribly difficult to get them to accept help, always been very very independent all their lives.  And when it comes to a nursing home .... arghhh ... no way will they go there!  Sounds like your Mum is very similar.  But there will come a time she cannot cope at home.  Perhaps you can look to get her into the nursing home as temporary respite?  That would give her a taste of what its like in there.  And she may realise its not such a bad place to be.  Then when the time does come when she needs to go into care, she will be hopefully less resistant.  Simple fact is that she is expecting way too much from you to provide daily care, when you have so much else on your plate.

I hope you manage a bit of a break from things over the weekend. Are you getting much rain up your way from the cyclone in the NT?

Sherry 

[Owlunar]

Hi @Shaz51 

Things are getting really tough for you - I understand - I would feel caught in the middle if I were in such a position

Mr Shaz cancelled his therapy when you were waiting for an ambulance for your Mum - I guess that's typical for him - I feel he only goes to therapy because you are taking him and you can't be in two places at once

You must feel pushed and pulled every which-way - this is really a strain - aw cripes - and just after so much happening when your uncle died - how do you managed all of this

Thinking of you Shaz - I guess the time is coming when your Mum will have to go into care - falling when she is alone at home is dangerous - we all know that

Sending more of my best thoughts

Dec

[Shaz51]

hello @Former-Member 

mentally mr shaz has tried other meds , but likes the ones that he is on , he told the doctor what he was diagnosed with and said that my wife (me ) thinks I have Bipolar 11

@Owlunar, @Former-Member  yes mum is back home again , my cousin rang to tell me secrets that mum had told her and to keep secret from me