Lived Experience Forum

[jazzie]

Thought I'd just pop in and introduce myself
🙂
Not really sure what to say, I'm not great with words, but here goes.
I have been a depressive girl since I was little, I wasn't diagnosed back then but looking back I can Definatly see that that's when it started
I know I wanted to die, which is a terrible thing for a little girl to go through, and being little I mean 3yrs old, yes, I bet your thinking how do you even know that, but trust me, its all completty true, I have no reason to lie about it.
When I started school everything was great until grade 5, where I started being bullied continually day in day out for another 2 yrs, it was so hard to get up every morning, and again I wanted out of here, I had told my mum about it, but she did absolutely nothing to help me 😞
I have hated her deep down as there was a lot more going on in my family life, that destroyed me even more, I'm not going to talk about here as I find it hard to talk about..
I was finally diagnosed in 2009 at the age of 44 after having a major breakdown with Ptsd, Bpd, Bipolar 1 and 2 etc etc so I had struggled for 41 yrs of my life trying to figure out what was wrong.
I have had a few major breakdowns since but I'm doing a lot better, I have done cbt, where I have learnt to cope better and I go to Respite for time out which is fun.
Sorry if this is so long, but thank you for letting me tell you about me,
Jazzie

[kristin]

Hey @jazzie 

A very warm welcome to the forums 

Thanks for so honestly sharing what you felt comfortable telling us. It sounds like you have survived a horrendous childhood. Pre-schoolers don't want to die without very good reasons. I'm so sorry for all your suffering. 

Your post is not too long at all, any length is fine! Some of us write really long ones when we are in full swing. 

I also survived a lot of abuse at home, and bullying at school (but for me the latter was not as bad as the home stuff - which just set me up to be vulenrable to bullying, and other abuse). I also have struggled with depression for most of my life (I'm nearly 52). In 2009 I was diagnosed with PTSD, and since then I've been diagnosed with bipolar 1 and C(complex)-PTSD. I'm pretty exhausted at the moment so I won't say much more, as there is lots of "STUFF" going on for me.

I hope you enjoy being part of this community, there are many caring and supportive people here in my experience, and though we have many different diagnoses we find there's lots of common ground.

Feel free to use the search function to check out other parts of the forum if you'd like (for instance you will find others with a shared diagnosis if you type PTSD, or bipolar, or BPD etc into the search bar). I'm sure some of the others will be around to welcome you soon - like @Alessandra1992 @kato @Former-Member @Ellie 

When things get dark it helps to remember - that hope endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

[kato]

hi @jazzie 

welcome to the forums, and for posting such a honest posting.

as Kristin mentions there are a few of us here who are going through similar circumstances to yourself.

I might add that when i get going i write ridiculously long posts, one of my common things on the forum is to just voice my own thoughts that i am going through, as a sounding board for me to see where i am at, and it gives me a guide to how i am travelling, sometimes good sometimes not so good.

I hope that you continue to feel comfortable in posting and asking questions etc, i always try to answer what i can, sometimes it can take me a few days to get make into my groove but when i do LOL, i get post happy and tend to get carried away.

so welcome again, it is great to meet you

thank you

[jazzie]

Thank you so much, I think I'm going to love it here, everyone has made me feel so very welcome 🙂
You and I sound quite similar Kato, I'm 50 LOL
Please take care and I Will pop on again soon
Hugs XOXO

[kato]

You are more then welcome @jazzie , take your time and don't feel rushed.

I am glad that you feel some common ground with me, lol i am 32 myself

you take care also

[jazzie]

@kato sorry I meant to let @kristin no I'm 50,LOL another thing I have is very bad short term memory xx
Thank you also to you Kristin, for the very warm welcome. We all have so much in common 🙂
Will catch up soon, till then please take it easy
Jazzie

[kato]

ah all good, i was a touch confused, sorta, but all good,

[SCORPION]

Hi Jazzie

We are good at listener s here glad your getting help now its hard when you know that something is wrong but dont know what.  I have PSTD and depression so know a little bit how you might feel also got bullied a school hated going.

Anway welcome people here real understanding and helping

Scorpion

[Former-Member]

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