Hi, I'm new, I don't know if this will help? - I don't know if anything helps? I have a complicated life (as I know we all do) sometimes it feels like there's no way out of the complications and the walls keep closing in around me. I've been fighting for decades and I'm tired, really damn tired.<br>I have bipolar, have had since 17, I'm 40 now. I have a multitude of other health problems, endocrine, renal, neurological, gastrointestinal, severe sleep apnoea, spinal etc. etc. nothing that's going to do me in, which is good, I guess, but plenty to make my life a living hell. <br>My social life is hospital appointments, doctors appointments, pathology tests and the like. My friends distanced themselves along time ago cause simply I'm not the fun guy I used to be, I can't go out without a ton of planning and preparation. I can't just crash the night without Cpap. I can't drink and take rec drugs like I used to (plenty of heavy duty prescribed meds, but I'd give my left leg to never have to take them again!). <br>My day consists of dropping my kids at school doing a few chores, paying bills and then picking them up again.<br>My wife works ALOT she teaches 9-10hrs a day and teaches dance all day Saturday, Sunday is all housework and getting ready for the following week. All up we'd spend about 24hours a week together.l at best.<br>Sometimes I need someone to talk to. Lifelines a waste of time - they don't have anything to offer other than to say, sorry that sucks. <br>Psychologists are much the same - they reach a point where there's nothing more we can do and have to part ways (I'm a dream patient btw - always trying everything suggested). <br>Psychiatrists just want to medicate, which in my case causes side effects that complicate other health issues and to be honest there's not much they can give me that isn't contraindicated anyway. Worst of all their meds add weight gain which really makes things worse. On top of that, they cause sleep apnoea to jump off the charts.<br>The best form of medicine is not to isolate myself, to get out and interact. The problem with me is people don't like me. I don't know if it's cause of IQ or just a bad vibe thing? but most people won't give me anymore time than they have to.(we definitely never catch up again). I don't relate to them and they don't relate to me. <br>I walk around locked in a permanent state of isolation over which I have zero control. My parents and siblings rarely call, even though we live 20mins from one another and they never visit. <br>I feel like such a sook whinging about all of this at 40 yrs of age, but I just don't understand why I receive zero support from people who I'm related to?<br>I could go on but like I said will this even help? I can't say ...I'm at the point in my life where I just want to lay down and stay asleep ...I'm tired of it all. I don't think anyone can fix me. I don't think they'd want to if they could anyway?
