Lived Experience Forum

[angel_wings]

Hi everyone, I've seen the ads on TV about this site and thought it was time to join up.

I have so many struggles that i feel overwhelmed. I am so tired I just want it to all go away.  I have suffered depression and huge anxiety most of my life, this last bout has now entered its 6th or 7th year, I don't even know now. I am just exhausted constantly and to be honest, fed up and tired of trying right now. I am terrified about my future, I know I need to focus on the now and what I CAN change, but I cannot get the things that worry me out of my head for very long.  Besides depression, I have a multitude of other health and heart-break issues I am trying to deal with.

I know no one can help me, its up to me, but I just want to feel like someone out there cares and understands what i am going though.. i feel very alone.

After a lifetime of mostly sadness, (there have been some years of happiness thankfully too) I have a lot to offer others, as I care so deeply and would like to take the pain of everyone else away.  I am a good listener, and that was my other reason for joining up here.  I have had so much therapy and experiences in my lifetime, I am actually pretty good at helping others, I just don't seem to take my own advice!

Much love and strength to everyone here.

"one moment at a time..."

[Sylvester]

Welcome @angel_wings and thank you for joining in to the Sane Forums I hope the experience will be a positive, supportive and helpful one to you.  

There are many sections to this website that you may wish to explore amd read some of the interesting articles, join in the themes or as you have done here introduce one.

Kind regards 

Sylvester

SANE Team

[Former-Member]

Hi @angel_wings, 

welcome to the forum. I hope you find what you are looking for here. I am in my 5th year of depression and other issues too. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago that things weren't like this but I have good days and good memories behind me too. I'm also trying to take the one day/step at a time, finally starting to get it after constantly trying to jump three steps ahead. I've also spent a lot to time looking for the magic wand to make it all disappear, sometimes I still get caught looking for it. 

There are many people here who I'm sure you'll be able to relate to and share experiences. Take care 😊💜

[Queenie]

Hi @angel_wings and welcome aboard the forums. I can resonate a lot to what you are saying, I too am terrified of my future. However like you, I know change has to come from within. It doesn't mean you have to go it alone though and support is important. I'm in my 10th year of ill mental health, however have had MH issues most of my life also. 

I hope you can find some of the support you are looking for here on the boards. It's good to 'meet' you. 

[utopia]

Welcome @angel_wings (nice name by the way).
Yes I totally get what you are saying. It's so much easier to give good advice than to fo it yourself. But you know, that's the only way healing happens.
What do you normally do when you are feeling anxious? What has helped in the past?
For me it's breathing. Slowing down and breathing. If I can get past that, I'll manage a relaxation exercise on my phone. Then I'm normally right for a while.
Good to see you joining this forum.

[Nell]

Hi I'm new to this site today too as going through a particularly bad patch with borderline PD. Have you tried the Smiling Mind app? It's very easy step by step exercises that I find really really helpful to calm myself and keep myself in check.
I really hear you.. Life with mental issues can be tough.. The bad days are unbearable but there is a way through each day week year. Be patient with yourself. Try to give yourself little mental ticks when you notice something good.. Even a positive thought. Do it as regularly as possible and eventually it becomes habit...
You are strong and a valued member of this country so hang in there and fight! Much love and light to you.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Nell,

Welcome to the Sane forums and have a good look around in different threads to see if there are topics of interest to you.

Thank you for your encouraging words and for telling other members about the Smiling Mind App. I have that one on my phone and really enjoy using it for short 10 min mindful breaks through my day, or when I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Have a great week,

Frog

[utopia]

Hi @Nell. Welcome. I have the smiling mind app on my ph and use it from time to time. It's a good little pick me up in the middle of the day

[utopia]

Hi @angel_wings. Just wanted to check how you are doing since your last post.
Do you have any plans for tomorrow? MMaybe get out and go for a walk if the weather is nice. I'll be taking my 3 dogs for a walk. Should be interesting, as I'll have my bf's 4 year old with me. Might be biting off more than I can chew.
Anyway, juat wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you and hoping things are getting better.

[angel_wings]

Thank you so much for yr msg. My computer broke n I find it hard to use my phone, but just finding your msg to me now meant so much. Thank you for caring n thinking of me. It feels good to know someone out there cares n remembers me! I had 2 lots of minor surgery this week so not feeling so great. Plus my daughter has the flu 😞 went to bed last nite n cried myself to sleep. Was 2.30am last I saw. My ex bf that just left me n moved in with some one else STILL hasn't rung me. It's a messed up situation n I feel so stupid for still wanting him, but I do. He promised he would call me twice a week n a month later still waiting... Why do I do this to myself?? I feel so so alone. So unlovable. I cling on to this relationship when it's obviously one sided but I find I can't let go... I just wish I could be happy. Am tired of living in pain, both emotion n physical. I wake up every morning to the same dark thoughts of what is the point... Thanks for taking time to read this. I hate feeling like no one understands me in this world. I feel such a burden 😞