Poem

[heartathome]

Hey @REDLINEZ750 

Big shops are half an hour away, but I tend to go to a town an hour away because my son and friends are there. Sounds like we're both our own worst enemies. I've tagged @rav3n as he/ she may be able to tell me how to have it checked out first before posting. This is a nice place to chat and put up poems. I think you are feeling like you're oversharing because you possibly haven't spoken about certain things before or very little. It's hard for me knowing if to verbalise my opinion or let it go when I disagree with someone. I say much less these days! I did tell my son yesterday that I thought he was drinking too much, and he hung up on me.  I had to let him know what I was thinking. 😁 He's an addict and we've been through to the psychosis trip more than a few times. I felt so alone online yesterday because no one tagged me. :face_with_rolling_eyes:Talk about overthinking! I was telling myself that no one likes or wants to talk to me. I don't like interrupting people while they're having a conversation. I know I 'shouldn't' think like that, but I do. It's a work in process! 

[REDLINEZ750]

reading through responses today were really positive and when i came your post @heartathome  i felt your words for i feel the same way if your name and postage stamp is not seen or i dont hear from you.

im sorry if you felt ignored yesterday i didnt come on at all till this morning...

im always eager to see your writing its a similiar style of flow to my own which maybe y9ou notice a little too, maybe not because formatt and punvtuation may be lacking 

on that thread what happened it wouldnt enlarge when you opened it?

i could go get one put on here i just wonder dont know whats an overload of too much or comfortable for you

is your day good my SANE friend?

[heartathome]

@REDLINEZ750 

I found there were all these new names going around yesterday. Does this forum have a high turnover of people or just lots of new ones? I asked them to say hi, but no one did. They were probably more frightened than me! They might have come out of the recovery program and know each other. Who knows. I'm not overthinking it today. I'm open about sharing my poems. I wrote them and if God can use them, good. They even survived the flood that took everything below my nose! I've had them 30 years for some reason! I'm going on your thread to what's been something good that happened today. You can read what I did today on there, so I don't have to repeat myself. Don't forget, I'm a slow typer! I have to keep the Christian and Poem chat's open because I keep forgetting how to go back to those threads.

[REDLINEZ750]

yeah @Chasingsunsets highlight page is first place i landed on sane because i actually felt i was being asked despite never posting anywhere haha

then felt a bit  grumpy coz didnt have one big or small until i remember stopping whenn asked what my highlight was i felt care so i made being asked the question my highlight and did not know accurate this was at that point they are all good hearts on that page and until yesterday i go there everyday 😊

when its quiet late at night i like to go forum homepage and if someones looking for help respond so they dont feel no ones there until morning

[heartathome]

@REDLINEZ750 

:police_car_light: This poem contains very raw material about breaking down my bravado walls and finding my inner child (the traumatized child) 25 years ago. :police_car_light:

I've been contemplating whether to post this or not!  

The only reason I am is because it has a happy ending! I can attest to that!! ❤️

This poem was written during a very dark, intense and life changing time in my life! 

I was alone and these were conversations with myself.  

INNER CHILD

I'm hurting so, I feel so sick

I feel a brick inside my chest

I might pass out; there's too much pain

But if I stay, I'll go insane

I don't want it covered or pushed down inside

I don't want to run, and I don't want to hide

Looking at it is almost too much

The girl within, I hated such

I'm not clear why, how or where

As it overwhelms, I can hardly bear

I can't get up to face the world

I find myself in a foetal curl

I grasp my stomach, it hurts my head

She is alive; I thought she was dead

I didn't feel, I didn't know

I didn't care but now it grows

The girl inside, I want her out

She's huddles in fear, of me, no doubt

She is in chains, neglected too

I wonder what I'm supposed to do

I see her face, i see her fear

I never knew she was in there

I'll sit a while, just sit with you

She's so afraid of what I'll do

I'm so, so sorry, I didn't know

You were there; we'll just go slow

What you feel is all okay

It's not strange to feel that way

Those chains removed, I'll lock the door

In case you run, I can't be sure

You cannot trust; It's okay though

I'll sit with you 'cause I kinda know

Can I hold you soon and stroke your hair,

Cry with you because I care

Slowly now, so, so slow

We'll sit and share so we can grow

Now I know it will never be

the same for us, you and me

My inner child found at last

Of each other, we are a part!

[REDLINEZ750]

@heartathome  that is had to pause then and still cant find right thing to say 

im using beautiful and touching last 3 stanxas i had goosebumps

i think more people are going to resonate than anything my friend

WOW

was it once called police car light?

are you doing ok after sharing it?

[heartathome]

I'm quite amazed that you think other people might be able to resonate with it. Do you know how to get a moderator to give their opinion. It might be taken down by them. I'm nervous and waiting....

@REDLINEZ750 @rav3n 

[REDLINEZ750]

@heartathome i would be very surprised if @Ru-bee @Shaz51 @rav3n or antyother person is going to take that down, its raw and it can be felt when read it is not offence it is real

[REDLINEZ750]

are you srill nervous @heartathome ?

 hope you dont think i was pieeing in your pocket  about the poem i nean what i said about how good i think  they all are