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Something’s not right

Dark_Olena
Senior Contributor

Giving my power away to a 23 year old.

My sons's partner approaches me often to look after my grandchildren. She has placement for 5 weeks coming up and ending 2 weeks before christmas. I am in the throes of trying to understand Ndis and appying many therapies for my daugther, so she is busy almost daily and yep I'm driving her to all of these things.I was raised and  emotionally abused that my needs were not important and so saying no really was not an option. I have tried and shuffled everthing to offer her one day that she asks for and then I have deleted one appointment that needs to be pushed into another day. I'm going to be worn out and my daughter is going to be over whelmed. If we slow up the therapies and dont use them Ndis will reduce our funding next review.

So today if I can explain myself away as to why I would have difficulty saying I cant be of real help, I also know I've given myself over to another. This I remember, when trying to claim myself back from trying to heal from being 'not good enough' abuse.Half my mental health issues is genetics and half is from abuse. I'm now ashamed of myself, because its when you start explaining is when others try to shuffle and make you do things. I am loathing right now and angry. I really need some support , my daughter needs me.

Thankyou for reading and hope to hear from you 

2 REPLIES 2

Re: Giving my power away to a 23 year old.

Hi,

 

Please don't feel ashamed although you feel you have given yourself away it shows you have a helping and giving nature.

From your post i can read that it is playing heavily on your mind though. You want to help but not at the risk of losing your own needs.

Could possibly getting a diary or calender for your home and marking down important meetings/appointments that need attending and marking ones which are of extreme importance to you in red.

Your health mentally and physically is just as important if not more than helping others.
Other wise how can you help others you care for if your health has not been made a priority?

Your family i am sure will appreciate knowing you are taking care of yourself in order to also help them.


Re: Giving my power away to a 23 year old.

@Dark_Olena  I understand the difficulties around saying no, and the view that your needs are not important, but they are. They are just as important as anyone else’s.

 

I dont know if you have any professional support in place for yourself. It might be a place to start.

 

I am hearing you.

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