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Something’s not right

Former-Member
Not applicable

Speaking too soon...

I had a whole different thread planned, but I had a pretty serious disappointment.

 

My manager messaged me a couple of days ago, saying that I have been approved to transfer to a different store. Apparently all your leave and everything carries over, they just need me to sign a new contract.

 

However, today, she said that there has been some sort of miscommunication, and that "it won't be going ahead at this stage". I'll have to do my hours this week at my old store, where I nearly died. 

 

Communication has been an issue with this new store's management.

 

A few times I have been there, the team was surprised to see me, as if no-one told them that I was going to be coming in.

 

Last night, I felt really weak and faint, so I had to leave. No-one knew what to do if you were sick in the middle of a shift. There's no way you can get a medical certificate, because they can't be backdated. So they just asked me to call the store manager later today.

 

One of the guys told me that he went away for a few weeks, and when he came back there was a bunch of new staff, so there's a bit of a history of disorganisation there.

 

All I know is, I can't go back there.

 

In that regard, it's kind of a non-issue, because I can apply for annual leave. Just anything to mean that I don't have to go back there. The problem is, I don't know whether my manager is expecting me to go out there.

 

It's so frustrating, though, because I thought it was settled. I started getting comfortable, and I met some people I looked forward to seeing again, and now I have to re-adjust.

 

I have enough to adjust to. My suicidal thoughts have come back to an extent, and my social anxiety has gotten worse recently.

 

I don't know whether I'll get paid for the time I lost last night. I don't know whether I can get leave, and whether my family will understand. I hope so, but really, I'm just hoping to be in one piece when everything is resolved...

1 REPLY 1

Re: Speaking too soon...

Dear Florencefourty

I'm afraid I've not read your previous posts, put it down to being a  newbie still learning navigation. I'm sorry as I might have been able to give a response you related to more readily. Perhaps you might tell me if it is possible to see a person's posts.

 

As far as I can see the most important thing in your post is the suicidal thoughts. I've no idea if you have tried to take your life, but I hope not. I'll mention all that a little later on.

 

First off there is always a temptation to blame yourself and feel inadequate  when it is the  actions of others that are blameworthy. To be told in concrete terms you are shifting jobs, That in itself should mean any sensible manager will try to ease your changeover, introduce you and get you settled.

 

Now you have that retracted as if it never happened and your old colleagues have not been informed and are surprised to see you.

 

Frankly you are being treated as an expendable work unit not a human being. This attitude must prevail throughout as there is no emergency plan for someone going off sick during a shift.

 

OK, so I guess you might be able to see your, and your colleagues'  worth is not recognised . That does not really help you to know what to do now though.

 

I guess if it was me I'de get the situation clarified in writing, an email is fine, saying what your future duties are. Then have some leave to try to get your perspective back.

 

I know there is a very strong temptation just to wash you hands of the whole matter and simply leave, and it's true that is one option, one I felt too

 

However I don't know your circumstance, financial or otherwise and l would not presume to  advise.

 

I do know resigning increases the  delay on Centrecare payments.

 

I also know, looking at myself, that if I let others rule to my detriment one time it is harder to  stand up for myself the next. That's not a suggestion, just me.

 

I had job problems and was actually invalided out. I found that having someone to support me was a real boon, though I did not realize it at the time. The lens of depression had reduced everything to a few hopeless items, with nothing else in the  world (I was suicidal).

 

May I ask firstly if you  have any medical support? I ask as I simply could not improve or make myself better until I had that.

 

At the same time it was only when I told my partner that a weight started to be lifted, and at the same time I learned of my partner;s strengths and capabilities -and love. Things I'd not really appreciated until then.

 

Do you think there is anyone you can talk about this and your feelings and feel cared for? They do not have to understand everything in you head, any more than my partner did mine, but the care and constancy was so great.

 

With suicidal thughts, they can be disrupted - I know this well at least for me. I'd suggest a safety plan on a smartphone called BeyondNow (Google it). A free download for andriod and apple

 

I needed help to fil it in, as I was not in a state to remember what I'd used to enjoy. But with specific prompts (eg listen to Elenor Rigby by the Beatles rather than the more general 'listen to miusic' helped. When suicidal there was no time for me to think, I needed to grab the safety plan at once.

 

I'm going on a bit long, perhaps I'd better stop now. I hope to hear from you again

 

Voyageur

 

 

 

 

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