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Something’s not right

SnowWhite
Contributor

Why ?

Firstly, Hi all been a while since i have been in here so hi ( waving) Smiley Very Happy

I have been dealing with my youngest son for quite a while now ( he turned 24 yesterday) his constant abuse, put downs, accusations and just plain nastyness. I have always tried to do my best for all my kids but he seems to go out of his way to make me pay for some past injustice. I get accused of spending all the money we have on smokes and not buying food and yet i do his washing and the others clean the house and do what i can and no one seems to notice or cares. It can be clean one minute and dirty the next. When i ask him to do something i get told Im the parent, Im the mother, Im the tenant and so on. He told me his mate no longer has contact with his mother and compared me to her except as he said I'm not an alcoholic. I guess i just want his love and will do anything for it and I put myself last and he just takes advantage of that and of course if he is in trouble its mum to the rescue. I might not have been the best of mums but i done my best at the time with what i had and we all make mistakes and i really wish i knew what it was that i had done wrong 

10 REPLIES 10
Gazza75
Senior Contributor

Re: Why ?

@SnowWhite ♥️♥️🌻🌻

 

Sounds like you do everything you can for him. Maybe he will grow up and realise how lucky he has it when he leaves the nest. 

 

Hang in there. Take care. 

Maggie
Community Elder

Re: Why ?

@SnowWhite  There’s no doubt in my mind that you are a very good mum. Your son does need to treat you with respect. I’m sorry your are being used so badly by him.

I don’t think you have done anything wrong, it sounds to me, like he’s the one in the wrong.

Welcome back to the forums. You will know your way around. Join in the conversations, there are plenty of us here who will walk with you and understand as best we can.

Take care of yourself. ❤️

Lauz
Senior Contributor

Re: Why ?

Hi @SnowWhite - its great to have you back in the forums 🤗

 

How are things going since your last post? Have you got any supports like a counsellor to chat through these things with as well? Parenting is no easy thing, you are doing your best and when that doesn't feel like enough it can be really challenging and weigh on your own wellbeing like you have expressed. Glad you have supports here too like the lovely @Gazza75 and @Maggie 👍

Re: Why ?

thanks everyone for your support it really helps to know I'm not alone in this. you are all correct, it is his problem and he is projecting it on to me so he doesn't have to take account for his actions which he knows in his heart of hearts is wrong.

I have now taken a stand and stopped doing anything for any of them and Im quite proud of the fact that i have not cooked them dinner in over a week being adults it's time they stood on their own two feet and i take a step back it's not easy as the feelings of not being wanted  are hard to overcome. I have sought out a counsellor and Im just waiting on a reply from them. But my daughter is 100% behind me and she is a great support for the time being plus a few friends who know my situation.

love to you all xx

Re: Why ?

@SnowWhite  You are doing really well. It’s not easy to do, but you deserve respect.

Im pleased you have the support of your daughter, plus, seeing a counsellor.

Thanks for getting back to us. We are here with and for you. Take care. 💜💜

Re: Why ?

Hi @SnowWhite 

Sometimes there is a gap when people communicate. There is no doubt in my mind that your son loves you, however there is probably an intent to impact gap that is too wide. This means the persons true feelings and appreciations are not getting conveyed. The difficulty in overcoming this is you could both need to put some time aside for each other. That's one to one mother and son time. If you don't do this you will both be trying to recreate your identities to each other. Please know you are loved, my respect goes out to you.

XX Access

Re: Why ?

hello @SnowWhite , 

how are you going today ?? and with your family xx

hello @Access , @Maggie , @Gazza75 

Re: Why ?

Well Shaz, I had a fall a few months back now and done a good job to my knee.

My family, well, I have had more help from me then them. Im in constant pain and cleaning the house, moving and even turning in bed have become my biggest hurdle.

Can't really shower so I struggle there as well 

Just not good 

Re: Why ?

Sending you lots of hugs @SnowWhite 

Hope you feel better soon 

I have kidney disease stage 4 with only one kidney , diabetes and osteoarthritis

Have you got some heat packs , ect 

Here for you my friend xxc 

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