Lived Experience Forum

[flatshift]

Well, after years of struggling, I can now say I've taken the first step to fixing myself.
I don't think I've ever been so nervous speaking to someone but I'm glad I have. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, along with a few other things, which was a lot to take in. It really knocked me for six. But I think I always new, just told myself I'll be fine.
I'm somewhat relieved because I now know what is going on, and there is other people like myself, rather than going from doctor to doctor and no one knowing what's is wrong. Which was what o was worried about. It certainly was a lot to take in.

So, now I just have to keep pushing forward.
The biggest thing I'm concerned about more than anything is telling my parents. None of this is because of them, but my parents will think it's something they've done. No one in our family has gone through this before, so this is all uncharted waters.

[Lunar]

Hello @flatshift,

It sounds like you have taken a really big step in starting to help yourself with your mental health issues, it is such a big transition from just coping to starting to find some extra support especially if you weren't sure what was wrong for so long.

I am glad you are getting some clarity and now able to connect with others that have gone through a similar thing.

It seems like you really care for your family and don't want to concern your parents, but please seek as much support as you can from family, friends and any other support on offer as this will asist you to start feeling better.

Take your time in telling them and keep us updated, it sounds like they care about you a lot.

Lunar

[Zoe7]

I concer with @Lunar. The more support you can get the little less the pressure. When you shut yourself off from the world and your only real support is from your GP and Psychologist (and the wonderful people in this forum) you realise just how lonely life can be without your family and friends around. Having some information for your family to look over in their own time might help - that way you don't need to explain everything yourself until you're ready. Well done on taking such a huge step. Keep posting as the people we can connect to here understand the struggles and are a huge support both in the tough times and in the REALLY TOUGH times.

[utopia]

@flatshift. Well done on taking the first step and talking to someone.
Now you have your diagnosis, your healing journey can begin. This takes a good team helping you - a psychologist or therapist to talk with and learn new coping techniques - maybe a psychiatrist & some medication - but most importantly good friends and family.
You may find it helpful to give your family and friends some brochures on depression and anxiety. This can help answer a few of their questions.
You may also like to direct them to the Sane forum site for carers.
Just remember you are on the right track. If you have any questions about how to tell your family / friends about your MI, there are some great posts here that you may find helpful.
Congratulations and welcome to the forum.

[Former-Member]

hello @flatshift

welcome

I too have suffered major depression and anxiety since very young.

My family found it very difficult to take in when I explained my illness. I had been hospitalised for 5 weeks. My mum and dad did not visit me. My dad never spoke of my illness but did not treat me differently. My mother was the same although when I brought the subject up later in life she did listen.

I'm telling you this because it really does vary with how people react. Some people are open to listening and learning others dont want to know.I think that they are unable to think about their child having a mental illness. Perhaps they might feel that they have failed. There is of course the stigma.

However your family do react please dont feel that it is you. I did and it took me a long time to turn that thinking around.

You will find this site very helpful, whether you wish to talk about how you feel, read other posts, respond or not. You are amongst people who understand and care.

[Passaggressive]

hi @flatshift than you for your post and th bit that has helped me is the youve" taken first steps to fixing yourself" thats what i need to do fix myself ive been to good doctors ect , and was hard to do as didnt at first tell themm every thing just little by little which hasnt helped but im going to boo app. tell them all , because im always if someone ass how am i even if my leg was hanging off id say im alright thanks jack, 

so hopefully i can do as u and help my self cheers

[Ellu]

Dear flatshift,

Congratulations on taking that first step on your road to recovery. I am so glad that you have finally been diagnosed and will be receiving treatment. After all those years of worry and uncertainty now you can get on with your life knowing that there are others who share your experience.

I understand how daunting it is to tell your parents. Let me tell you that I am the mother of 4 children (31, 30,and twins of 26). I am sure your parents will have noticed your erratic behaviour in the past and are worried about you and what is going on. I know that if one of my children came home and told me that he had anxiety and depression I would welcome him with open arms and say "What can I do to help?" I would be delighted that my child had a proper diagnosis and a treatment plan. 

It did actually happen to me. While he was at uni one of my boys became withdrawn, isolated, sullen and uncommunicative. I persuaded him to go to a psychologist, and after a number of session he can home and said "Guess what? I have high functioning Asperger's". I was just so delighted to understand what was going on and that he could be helped. All we parents want is the best for our children, and knowing about a dignosis empowers everyone to work together and provide support.

You will have to chose your time to tell your parents - maybe after dinner or on the weekend when you are all sitting tohether in a relaxed atmosphere. Expect lots of questions! It is unfair not to tell your parents, and also counter-productive; how can they support you if they don't know what is going on? They may be uncharted waters, but I am sure you will sail them with your parental support and the support of your friends and family. Good luck!
Ellu

[mrkotter]

Hey @flatshift hope things are going are ok. It is hard to take in but seeing the doctor is the first step and most often the hardest. Sometimes we inflate things in out minds and telling your parents may not be as bad as you think.

Also, I hope I have this reference right, I really like your username. Keep your foot hard down on that accelerator mate, don't let off. 

[spelled3]

Well done flatshift! You're on your way. I was worried about, and wanting to defend my parents when I was diagnosed with depression and my counselor asked me about my parents. It all felt very weird.

All the best 🙂

[Zoe7]

Welcome @spelled3