Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

@DoneInDialogue, sorry for the slow reply. I haven't been around here much but things are good and stable right now so I'm going to try to tentatively delve back in. 

I think the 'senior contributor' is just a measure of how many posts you've made. 

There wasn't anything that happened in particular, that made us feel unsafe. I guess it was just, as you mentioned, the feeling that we'd shared too much personal information for a public forum. People who knew us could have identified us - and that would be a problem both in terms of my professional life and particular people who still want to harm us. I guess you just need to be careful. 

I haven't seen Three Faces of Eve but the idea that one experience or even one repeated experience would give someone DID doesn't seem consistent with what I've read or heard. It's definitely not been our experience. 

[DoneInDialogue]

Thanks for reply Briar...my like button doesn't seem to work much.....I guess we are constantly giving out personal info just in commenting....had to laugh (or cry) on other forums where people kept insisting on whether you were male or female, what you were/did...to prove you were 'real'....when in reality we are minds on a screen with personas and we can post with many different personas if we choose to, whether for mischief or experimentation or even protection of self.....a new medium for many to adjust to....I sometimes like to think of being above the earth, of minds meeting in the air exchanging information...it's a shame that so many folks only like to get you to talk in order to use that info against you, like mosquitos sucking out what they can and leaving behind what germs they hold within themselves....whenever I feel vulnerable in what I am about to write it's a warning signal to me not to write it...making the emphasis on my feelings perhaps rather than anything else!

I suppose also relevant is the facilitators reason for providing this forum and what use they make of it....

Three Faces of Eve revealed a married woman whose transition between personalities....basically between the organised rational self, the defeated submissive self and the sexual siren...lead her husband to take her to a psychiatrist when he found sexy lingerie that she denied buying or even knowing about.....and all this came down to one experience in childhood where she was forced to view and kiss a dead relative at the family open coffin wake.... ?..perhaps the awakened sexuality or experienced violence of a child was a no no topic of the time? .....I wonder that social mores of the day - an insistence on social presentation and hence denial of anything that doesn't fit the mold, has a part to play in the development of DIDs within young children....our minds are shaped by the society and parental care that we develop our psyche in after all.....and if  'abnormal experiences' can never be brought to the surface?.....not definite statements here, simply curiosity about how the human mind develops and a means of broadly discussing DIDs!

[Former-Member]

@DoneInDialogue, you're right about the vulnerability and it's another reason I should abandon my usual practice of coming here of an evening after a few glasses of wine 😉

We have mixed feelings about influence of the internet. The lack of embodiment definitely makes it easier for many of us to interact socially and that's huge. I've also been on forums before though where, for whatever reason, everyone starts to decide they're DID, plays around with it for a while and then moves on... which is f8ckd. Then again, we're aware that at least some of those people might be using that process to learn about their people, which is understandable. So it's complicated.

After reading your post, I googled Three Faces of Eve. It still doesn't seem to ring true but the historical factors you mentioned might be part of the explanation. I think it might also be a mistake to assume that the psychiatrists who publicised her story knew all of her, or all that was going on, you know?

I just read a thread from @mrkotter about covering, which was interesting. I'm pretty sure my whole life has been above covering one thing or another, usually multiple things, from multiple people including multiple selves! The more aware we become of each other and our internal world, the easier things are on a day-to-day basis, but the more there is to hide or cover. 

It's nice to have this thread. Thanks for starting it. 

[DoneInDialogue]

Hi Briar.....I like your using 'we' and am going to start doing same....I fear I have one dominate who represses the others until they simply break out and reek havoc. By using we it reveals a collective rather than a repressive dominate eh!....and the repressed parts certainly need some identity and expression. Whenever the whole comes together there is some glow or exposed sexuality or something! that attracts the moths around the light and causes a somewhat damaged withdrawal.....as for your statement, most people cannot possibly comprehend DIDs and make fun of it in reaction.....I think too that fragmenting or containment of different parts of themselves is definitely part of being human anyway....we learn to socialise and hence cover the private parts of ourselves in order to participate in civilisation.....a mistake today, in our human quest for self realisation, seems to be to reveal all in every situation.....a normal person should have a professional cover, a family persona, an intimate self, etc....and perhaps this is why they ridicule the true psychological DIDs identities....they don't realise that it is not our choice to fragment and hide certain aspects to ourselves...that totally separate identities have shaped our survival from a very young age and we are not aware of them until life experiences force us to seek them out and identitify their times of existence....will check out @mrkotter (just realised how to get to his posts...doh!)


 

[Former-Member]

@DoneInDialogue, yep using 'we' online when we mean 'we' has become a kind of freedom thing  In real life, I would change 'we' to 'me' with all but a couple of people but one of the best things, I think, about accessing online support is that nobody knows or cares who we are, so I can say 'we' when that's what I mean - it's more accurate and truthful but in real life that usually gives way to the imperative of acting normal, as you would know.

I think you're right that non-DIDs have different aspects of their personalities and perhaps some of them benefit from acknowledging that and understanding it better. I try not to be judgmental when I see people experimenting or exploring these things and then getting bored and moving on. It just seems kind of invalidating to the rest of us though because we can't move on and ignore the fact that we share a physical existence. But hey, that hasn't happened on this forum, which is brill! 

[DoneInDialogue]

Yep Briar!...sure is a freedom thing:) to be using the we .....of course not in real life....it was only when i was in deep therapy that I kept trying to explain myself to others, hoping methinks that they would comprehend and 'know us' and what it entailed...and all would be well!......know better now and don't see much point in involving those that just cannot comprehend or don't want to anyway....in that covering thread by mrkotter he seemed to want to be at this stage, where he was identifying with his BP and believing he had to proclaim it to all and sundry as part of being himself?

As for non DIDs exploring their many personal aspects they shouldn't associate it with DIDs whatsoever as they do know they are presenting differing personas for differing situations and that is normal human development.....DIDs is different psychologically and we get your point about invalidation...felt that way when trying to validate my own experiences...what a waste of effort....feel so much lighter simply speaking to another who knows......cheers X

[Former-Member]

@DoneInDialogue, I like the way you describe that process. It reminds me a bit of the way a lot of LGBTI people experience the coming out process, at least in years gone by. At first you're young (or young at heart) and finally accept yourself, gather the courage and make it known to others. Then the relief of realising you no longer have to lie to everyone is so liberating... plus, when you're honest, you still have a seed of doubt yourself some days, so you scream pride from the rooftops, decorate your house in rainbows and refuse to buy products from companies who haven't endorsed equality (LOL I'm exagerating but you get the picture). But after a while, you kind of get to a deeper level of (self) acceptance where you no longer need to do all those things, and you can just be. And depending on what circles you move in, some people still don't accept you, and some are positively hateful, but you no longer feel the need to battle with them.

I don't know if we're there with DID. Some of us are - others definitely aren't. 

[DoneInDialogue]

Like button not responding again.....yeah yeah yeah Briar - like your comparison to LGBTI....geeze louise lol....societies set themselves up with the accepted and the unaccepted (makes the accepted feel superior maybe:) sooooooo.....of course people have to hide parts of their identity in order to fit in with the 'norm' and one probably finds the majority of the norm therefore hiding behind the acceptable clone behaviour..easy peasy for some!

Pity for the ones genuinely searching for the truth of who they are and completely oblivious to societal rules of engagement or of course those that are a definite reject and in danger if they reveal themselves....gay men were so in danger at times I worry all this expose is a means of outing them all and what brave warriors folks are that enter the arena in order to bring about change....the LGBTI, feminists, the whistle blowers and yes, even us little ole mentally different psyches....

The sort of peeps we (I) don't accept as acceptable is probably pretty long once we get going...paedophiles, violent and abusive destroyers of others (not just the physical ones either, there's some who do extreme harm to other's psyches and enjoy it tremendously).....sooooo the accepted and unaccepted will always exist in human societies....I simply have a different definition to the mainframe at present...and yeah, I understand and condone the fight for recognition but from one who accepts, would prefer to know the overall identity of the person before me rather than their 'political tag'....if we meet someone that is BP, say, we prefer to get to know the person first and foremost, discovering the BP factor down the track as we all get down to it!

Cheers Briar......hope you all doing fine....in this countdown to the end of yet another year in this millenium...X....p.s. at present am feeling that only other DIDs folk can truly relate to our DIDs experience...

[Former-Member]

@DoneInDialogue yeah it's definitely a rough time of year. 

[DoneInDialogue]

just had my post rejected cause we mentioned the name of a drug which we now know is not allowed...thankfully the mods kept a copy of my post.....

(Briar...often read your posts and then go away and think about what you said....there was something mentioned in your last post that got my interest, infact fascination, but you seem to have edited it out so am hestitant to mention now....pity some other posters wouldn't come in eh:0.....later perhaps!

you may not see this as funny but my memory brought it up for some reason and will share...years back I drank a lot and got to meet a wide variety of folks through this form of socialising....two that I had got to know invited me back to their place but one of them proved to be a bit of a maggot.....he put something in my drink but just before I went under his mate gave me a warning and on some deep level I must have been prepared....perhaps my DIDs was a benefit in this situation cause when i woke up I had no memory yet felt entirely 'intact'....methinks the maggot got far more than he bargained for and I have always thought of this experience as a huge benefit of DIDs!!!....when I ran into this bloke again we were confident and smiled - sniggered even - and his response made me sure that whatever took place wasn't quite what he expected ..unfortunately the time elapsed would have healed any visible bruises on his face....Ciao)