Lived Experience Forum

[Passaggressive]

Xmas approaching can't do it myself , 19yrs of having xm as at our place I no its 19 because when my daughter born we took over from my mum, I'm seperated and have been alone and havnt seen or talked to many in months grass is over knee high how can I have 30 or more for cmas when I find feeding myself an effort i havnt been to shops for a month and eating things in cuboard,
I think I will just drive off never return

[Lunar]

Hello @Passaggressive,

So sorry to hear that you are struggling with xmas coming up, it sounds like you are wanting to get away from it all, that is completely understandable as it is such a stressful and intense time of year.

Is there any way people can all bring a plate of food to help you out, like a pot luck, or you could go to a park instead of the home?

There have been a few threads started about coping at christmas that you could have a read through:

Christmas... how do we all manage this day?

christmas

Coping with Christmas

Have you been able to talk to anyone in the family about this, or even a counsellor? Please keep sharing, we are here for you. 

Lunar

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Passaggressive

We are clearing the pantry at our house too.  Think of it as doing the planet a favour.

Are your family members in contact with you at all .. or just taking it for granted that you will do it all .. then phone at last minute to confirms details??

Definitely delegate, but also take care of you in the long haul.

 It shows a lot of social conscience, effort  and consideration that you have been in that role.  Even if some people hate christmas, the world would be worse of without periods of general social good will.

Sometimes low energy and depression can be a sign of burn out.

[Passaggressive]

can get some from neices 24yr night b4 but problem  have been awaay from house a few mths and is over grown plus my ex ransacked the place let her freinds take my stuff and in last mounth ive just lied on couch waiting for phyco ex stuff, people saay yeah they help but they want come night b4 as most busy this time year,    

[Former-Member]

hello @Passaggressive

it sounds like you have a tough time for a while.

You have been away probably getting some space, even trying to sort your thoughts out.

major incident in your life break up of a relationship.

long grass at your house would be last thing on your mind.

Your family who are expecting to come over on christmas day, have they been supportive during this very difficult time? have they been there for you in any way? spent any time listening to you? helped you out with a meal or something?

you  dont have to give information that you dont want to on here. so only answer what you want to.

im just not understanding why your family are putting pressure on you to have it at your house when you have been through such a huge upheaval.

If you are happy to have it there, tell them fine - come over cut the lawn help me tidy up the place before. help with food drinks etc and not a problem.

Bottom line dont feel guilty if you dont want to  celebrate christmas there, or even celebrate christmas full stop.

Do what you want to do for yourself. You are most important at the moment.

hope i dont sound too blunt. so much expectation is put on people at christmas when it is supposed to be a time of giving, sharing, showing love.

so give to you and show yourself love. take care my friend

[Former-Member]

@Passaggressive

driving away not returning or running for your life are words not to be taken lightly.

we are contributors on here who will chat to you and read what you have to say. we can empathise, make suggestions.

serious dark thoughts need to be discussed with trained people in this area.

lifeline 13 1114 are very good. I have used them myself.

just dial the number and take your time, even just cry, they will be with you on the other end, when you are ready, no pressure, just concern and care.

please do that for me and for others on here but most of all for you.

[Passaggressive]

yes reading your message i tear up again because i wish i could disapear had o life full of ups and big downs its harder to get uo when older and abondonded but will call