Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hi all,

I'm struggling lately, and i went from being completely overwhelmed and depressed/sad... to just feeling nothing. like the feelings part of me has just fallen off and been discarded. occassionally i feel worried about it but most of the time i just feel like it doesnt matter. ive been able to get more done in some ways as i was feeling clearer in a way. just able to objectively look at things and just do it i guess. But over the last week this sense of everything being pointless and futile has crept up. there really isnt any point to the things that i do, to my life. my brain is still busy and over crowded. but i dont have the emotional response to things like i normally would. i cant sleep much. im going out and exercising and im able to push myself so much more than usual because of the same not feeling stuff...  i dont even feel hungry and was forgetting to eat but am eating when i prepare stuff for the kids at home.

has anyone felt/not felt... like this? 

[darrenhayes]

Force yourself to live, listen to music, veronicas on your side

take pride in your appearance, eat healthy, talk to anyone if u need help
, catch a movie with a friend,
ring a friend or family

And yes u have fallen so far down the rabbit hole, in such a very very quick time frame
Please do this

[Heart]

@Former-Member, Hear what you are saying loud and clear. You mention you are pushing your self when exercising as you don't feel anything and that you have forgotten to eat as well as not sleeping well. Have you been to your GP lately and if not you should go. Are you on meds at the moment and seeking theropy? 

[darrenhayes]

Hi I saw psychologist yesterday
And that's what she's said to do
Please please do these things turn on the radio and get moving

[Former-Member]

hi @Heart

my gp resigned and moved away recently and i havent found a new one. i have told the community health worker who visits in between psychiatrist appointments who was going to see when my next telemed appointment is. but all he will do is say.. you have been under a lot of stress. are you still taking your medication? do you want to up the dose? (which is already maxed out). but i wont because it usually makes me feel nauseus anyway. he will ask if i am actively suicidal and i will say no. he will say ok i will see you in three months. (this is how every visit has gone for the last two years)

I see a psychologist but she will be away from next week over the holidays. the mental health support worker

I see a psychologist but she will be away from next week over the holidays. the mental health support worker i usually see has gone on sick leave, but was taking leave over xmas/new year anyway and i declined to see the person who will be covering her as i havent met her and dont want to explain myself/situation to anyone else new. 

thanks @darrenhayes unfortunately none of that is making any difference.

lj

[Former-Member]

Yes @Former-Member, I have had that numbness thing (without drugs lol), its either your being is taking a break from the recent emotional pain or you're actually at peace and unfamiliar with that. Either way it helps you 'get on' with things, function. Yry not to overthink it. I get a bit the same, especially this time of year. Good you're exercising - it will help reduce the build up of underlying stress (I need to do that more). Do you have any Grounding Mindfulness Meditations you can do a couple of times a day, to help centre yourself and get in touch with fragmented parts? Just a thought.
Can you engage in some activities that make you smile. There's a lot of community functions atm.
Sit and take in nature and count all the good things iaround you?
This time of year is hard.
Are you having time with your children for Christmas?
Feel for you, this is your alert to go really gentle with yourself atm, have you read the book "Reality Slap" by Russ Harris? It really helped me with the practical application of SELF COMPASSION.
One day at a time lj, big hug xox

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

no i havent read reality slap, i've read the happiness trap i think it's by Harris. I will look up the other. 

No kids arent with me for christmas. still not sure what days they are away as ex wont communicate back, other than to say that its his turn for christmas (which it is). 

There isnt much going on in the community here. tonight is my work xmas dinner but no babysitter and too expensive anyway. next weekend is the carols. but kids wont be with me so not much point in going and going on my own seems pointless. 

tomorrow the kids have a birthday party to go to. its the first party they've been invited to this yaer so its important. I hope that htey will have a good time. its at a play ground so i will stay with them.

lj

[Appleblossom]

yes @Former-Member

I have felt that way .. on and off drugs .. lol .. which makes me feel a bit detached from the egoism in having nice or compassionate or good feelings .. and yes about the eating and getting stuff done.

At this stage of your life .. it is probably more important that you do get things done and establish your own security .. than be worried about all the finer nuances of feeling .. I am learning that it all comes back .. 

maybe the numbness is not completely pathological in itself but partly a good adaptive strategy .. to enable you to focus on YOUR prioirities. Its just your system saying .. enough. When your base is secure and you can share that with your children, will be plenty of time for you to reclaim those sensitivities.

Hope you are all good .. My biggest current challenge is excess of feeling. 

I dont have any plans for christmas yet .. my son has asked that leave it til we get there . .as he is busy making lots of plans at the moment .. which for us is more important ..  I want him to have a decent time 52 weeks a year .. and not focus on that day.

I will look forward to sharing some time online with you .. if you like.

and you too @Former-Member  & @Heart @darrenhayes

take care Bella

[Heart]

@Former-Member, Yes  i have had these feelings as well but it did not end well for me. Please do not burn your self out by over exercising and not eating and sleeping. 

Love everyones replys 

Take care all

[Former-Member]

Thankyou @Appleblossom

its relieving to know that you've felt similar, though this feels somewhat beyond numb.. i've felt numb before, this is different, though im not sure how to explain it.

@Heart I keep thinking that this isnt going to end well also. But really don't think that i can do much at the moment. Really only going day by day. Maybe psychologist will have suggestions next week, but not sure im going to be able to get to the appt because of work.. so we will see.

lj