this is me

[Wennie]

This is me

I live with schizoaffective disorder

And that’s its official name

It is like schizophrenia

But not quite the same

I do suffer from psychosis

And auditory hallucinations

Which can cause temporary insanity

Or utter jubilation

I can be quite moody

And that is a component

And sometimes I get so mad

And see people as an opponent

My psychotic episodes

Can cause quite a stir

And in my fragile state

My mind begins to blur

As my moods, psychosis and hallucinations plateau

I get so very tired

and I have been told by psychiatrists

It is because I am so wired

I am on ant-psychotic medication

Though it took some time

For me to accept

And not to seek rejection

I do get very sleepy

As it does cause some sedation

I go to the dr. each fortnight

and it is delivered by injection

I live with the diagnosis

Of schizoaffective disorder

And over my lifetime

Somehow have managed to keep it in order

Sometimes I wonder

What normal is meant to be

But I have accepted

That this is my life

And this is me

[Nala2022]

Hi @Wennie,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing this with the community. There’s a lot of honesty, insight and self-awareness in what you’ve written about living with schizoaffective disorder and the impact it has had on your life.

I can hear both the challenges you’ve faced and the strength it has taken to reach a place of acceptance around your diagnosis, treatment, and experiences over time. That’s not always an easy journey.

I also really appreciated the way you expressed your experiences through poetry and reflection. I’m glad you felt comfortable sharing this part of yourself here and hopefully other's will join in also 😊

[Taali]

Good morning 🌄 

@Wennie @Nala2022 

I hope the new day is being kind to you.

Whatever you do today, please be gentle with yourself. 

Our capacity for self-criticism and blame can often outlay self-love and hope. Be assured that you are a valuable part of what we call humanity no matter what your personal challenges are.

Be gentle with yourself, try to find that elusive glimmer of light and hold it close.

Welcome Wennie. I'm glad you found this safe space and had the strength to share your story with us.

Love always T 💖 

[Nala2022]

Good morning @Taali 😊

Thank you for your kind words, I wish the same to you.

Do you have much planned for today?

[Taali]

Hi @Nala2022 @Wennie 

Nice to hear from you.

Today's plans include attempting first shower since surgery, trying to drive 5 minutes to the shop, and maybe even going all out and putting clean laundry away. I'm killing it!!

I plan to be true to myself by not allowing my pretentious, judgemental brother to bother me and mess with my psyche.

Watching morning TV news and indulging in second iced coffee right now. Living the dream ✨️ 

What about you?

Peace and love ❤️ T 

[Nala2022]

It’s great that you’re going at your own pace, especially while you’re still recovering from surgery. I hope it all goes well for you @Taali 

I’m sorry to hear your brother has been adding stress as well. I hope you’re able to protect your space and keep things feeling steady for yourself today.

I’m doing okay, thank you for asking 😊 I hope the iced coffee is hitting the spot!

Wishing you a calm and manageable day 💮

[Taali]

MWAAA!

[Mr_Be]

Beauty in tragedy. You're not alone @Wennie 

Keep going 🙂

[Taali]

All good, he's going to "pray" for me.
That'll fix me

[HappyEmu]

Thank you so much for sharing this. May I ask, when did you accept your diagnosis? I have an adult child with the same diagnosis but they refuse to accept the diagnosis and are no longer medicated - which is amplifying their unwell moments. We would love to be able to assist them in accepting the diagnosis but just cant get the message through. Warmest regards to you