This morning I got my friendly reminder text for my appointment with my dietitian on Saturday. I am trying to decide whether or not to go. I don’t want to keep wasting her time- that’s what I feel like I am doing. I need to think hard about whether I am really ready for recovery? Am I willing to commit to it?
Last fortnight she put together a nourishment plan for me to help keep me medically stable. I have hardly been able to stick to any of it. It is just too hard. I rarely have lunch and if I do it’s just an up and go. I rarely have the snacks. With everything else that is going on around me, restricting is my go to way to cope. I know that I need to be using this nourishment plan because I am having increasingly more episodes of feeling dizzy and lethargic. But what more can my dietitian do for me if I can’t stick to this plan?
I feel so defeated by this eating disorder. It’s stolen so much from me and slowly destroying me.
