Lived Experience Forum

[GlowCloud]

So lately anxiety has been getting the better of me.
My (ex-)best friend wrote about me in her blog and when I confronted her about it she ditched me, leaving me betrayed and vulnerable. Since then, I've been struggling with my current friendship (which is the only one I have) because I'm scared that I'll push her away too.

She wants to hang out a lot, but I'm currently dealing with depression, anxiety, and other chronic illnesses and a lot of the time I just don't have the energy.
I've spoken to her about it and she didn't seem very receptive and every time I can't go out with her she gets upset.
I'm worried that I'm going to lose her too and I really can't handle that.

I don't know what to do because I've never had many people I called a close friend - in fact she would be the 4th person I have ever considered to be a really good friend.

[utopia]

Hi @GlowCloud. Sounds like you have had a tough time with friends. One who sounds like she didn't respect your privacy and another sho isn't understanding of your health.
Many people who have never experienced MI, just don't seem to understand it. The old sayings of "just get on with it", don't work or help us.
Maybe you could print out some information about depression and anxiety. What it's like to live with. And what people can do to help those living with it and what doesn't work.
Sometimes hearing it from someone else may help them understand a bit more.
Give this a try and see how she responds.
Do you have family that you are in contact with who support you and understand? What about a therapist to talk with? Sometimes we need professionals to speak with, so that we when we see our friends we can talk about other things.

[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @GlowCloud

Welcome to the forums, i see that you have another thread as well where you have shared some of your story, it is wonderful that you have reached out I hope that you are feeling welcomed and comfortable finding your way around and comfortable contributing where ever you feel you can

sometimes these communities can be a good adjunct to external friendships because as you spoke about friends not always being in a head space where they can hear and understand you, this community will hear you and as utopia said a therapist can also be a great resource to build your energy and increase your ability to manage these difficult experiences 

i was wondering though about your heading, 'feeling scared' what are you most scared / concerned about? perhaps someone will have some ideas?