Bipolar

[snowflake231]

I was just wondering if there are any people living with bipolar who would like to chat. 

i live with bipolar 1. It's proving to be very hard to control. I'm either in depressive episode or manic. No middle ground. 

ive had 6 rounds of ECT over the years some for depression and some for mania. 
I also had a round of TMS. 

at the moment ive just come out of long depressive episode and went straight into manic. I am happy to be manic for a change as the depression was really affecting my homelive. At this time the manic is somewhat under control. I mean I clean a lot and get up at 4:30am but I can still control my spending. It's kinda nice to be on high. 

im still on cocktail of medications which I hope are keeping the manic to an acceptable level. 

anyways I was looking to connect with others with bipolar. 

[Tudor22]

I wrote a long reply but it disappeared

[Tudor22]

Basically I said you shouldn’t have to cope with such extreme cycles constantly,  and you may need to review your medication. Good luck!

[snowflake231]

I had a good bulk billing psychiatrist but he retired. I tried to find a new psychiatrist but I did not like the one who could take me on. And I just can not afford to look anymore not to mention that I can't find any in my area that take on new patients. 

I see a gp that specialises in mental health and he seems good enough. He has worked at the mental health ward for years and seems knowledgeable enough. 
Trigger warning suiside 

I've been on this cocktail of medications for years. It might not be ideal but it has kept me from slashing my wrists again and eventhough I'm suicidal in my depression I have not attempted one in a few years. So I take that as a win. 

my problem with depression is that I loose the ability to communicate. I just can't talk or make sentences. I'm not sure what causes it but my daughter hates it cause I just don't communicate at all. That's why I'm happy that I'm manic at the moment cause some of my communicative skills have returned. It's not 100% but its better than no communication at all. 

so eventhough manic is not ideal I don't think I want to play with my meds because I'm not suicidal and the manic is manageable at this point 

[Dimity]

It sounds tough @snowflake231 . I'm glad you're reasonably happy with your present state.

I've had years of depression but became manic several months ago and ended up in hospital. My main communication difficulty is lack of opportunity  I'm socially isolated. But in social situations I can freeze and become speechless. I think I have some c-ptsd and social anxiety, but maybe I'm on the spectrum. 

Being able to communicate with your daughter sounds very positive. But I guess you're monitoring your mania in case it worsens.  I can take extra antipsychotic if I feel I'm at risk.

I think you've said you don't like walking or exercise but I find they help me a lot. 

[snowflake231]

I don't mind walking with a purpose. Our local shopping centre is walking distance so I walk there to do grocery shopping. It's just walking just for the reason to walk I just don't have the patience for. 
im monitoring the mania closely and so far it's not so bad. I just hope it doesn't get worse. 

[Dimity]

@snowflake231 if you want someone to get an email notification of your reply you can type @then select their username from s drop down list. That way they see your reply even if they haven't subscribed to your thread.

I walk to the shops too. Actually I walk every day. I had wellbeing coaching 2 or 3 years ago and revised my eating and exercise habits, and reduced my antipsychotic.  I lost weight, reduced my blood sugar levels, and started feeling better. I  guess my walk doesn't always have a destination but it has a purpose and these days I'd miss it if I  didn't do it.

My sleep patterns and stress levels usually change before an episode. I'm not sure if they're classic mania or a mixed state. 

Is your daughter old enough to understand when you're not well? 

[snowflake231]

Yes my daughter is old enough to know what's going on but she is not understanding the fact that I don't have a control over it. Just your typical teenager.   

I was just wondering if anyone has an experience with mania and nausea. Since ive hit manic I seem to be feeling nauseous to the point of waking up vomiting every morning at 5:30. I don't know if it's the medication [edited by moderator] that could be causing it but I've been on it for more than half a year whereas the nausea is happening in the last 2 or so months. 
it's fine when I'm on my feet doing something but but soon after I sit down it hits.