Hi again guys!
It's been awhile and alot has changed. Somewhat good, mostly not however.
I got around to seeing a school counsellor! She was lovely and incredibly easy to talk to thankfully. We got a whole two sessions in before she dropped the bomb that she was moving to another school and I would have to see the school chaplain as the other counsellors were too busy. Many issues with that as I started with seeing the school chaplian who suggested I talk to that counsellor as she, the chaplain, did not feel qualified to help me.
On top of all that, I stopped being able to talk to my mother after we got into an arguement when I said I wanted to see the counsellor and she said she believed that I did not need to and that this "overly emotional" person I was being just isn't who I am.
To make things even worse I recently, as in just yesterday, went to a deputy teacher as a friend of mine had cuts up her arms. While I know it was the right thing to do, I feel like I betrayed her and she is never going to forgive me. What if she wasn't cutting but hurt her arm some other way? or if the school calls her parents but they were the issue in the first place? what if me going to tell someone is the thing that pushes her off the edge?? i could have just ruined her life and i didn't even have the decency to talk to her first. we aren't that close. was i in the wrong??
the people in my head are still there. i feel like i'm just boiling to a point right before i break apart and i don't know how to hold myself together anymore.
thanks if anyone actually reads this.
