Lived Experience Forum

[Eden1919]

this is not anything super serious or imediate btw. I am supposed to have a phone call with my psychiatrist in a few days and then a first appointment with a psychologsit the day after but i shouldnt be worried right? just because things have been intense they shouldnt be worried right? nothing bad will happen if i am honest about what has been happening will it? i am scared someone will over react and say i have to go to the devils lair (hospital) i mean i dont need to go there but people have done that in the past more than once so i am always so scared that anything i say will land me back there. i shouldnt be worried right?

[Queenie]

Deep breaths @Eden1919  I’m sure it’ll be okay. I was in a similar position but I wasn’t hospitalised thankfully after making a verbal contract should I deteriorate I would agree to treatment. Things are beginning to be better for me, I sincerely hope that they will for you too.

[Serenity1]

@Eden1919 this is my greatest fear- it's so hard to figure out how to be completely honest about how much you are suffering- & to feel completely safe & trust in people- what was your situation last time when you ended up in hospital? Was it similar to what you're experiencing now? Can you remember what caused them to make that decision?
I was advised by a helpline on Tuesday that I should call my doctors office & tell them I felt like I was having a breakdown- so I did to the receptionist because she didn't have any appointments for me-( but I had an unhelpful psychologist apt. That day)-& then I hung up the phone & became so paranoid that they were going to send round the guys to lock me away-😭 I called them back in a panic & made sure they weren't going to do that-& they weren't- but it's such a scary feeling!! 💖

[Eden1919]

@Queenie  thanks i am glad you worked out a plan. 

@Serenity1  it really is a scary feeling. things are similar to other times they have made me go which i guess is why i am nervous. some things are worse than the other times and other things are just a little less than the other times. but i find it very hard to tell because most of the times were when i was feeling unsafe but there have also been times where i felt fine but everyone else kept telling me there was something wrong. so i never really know based on how i am feeling what others will consider bad. i find it very difficult to know at times. the other reason i am concerned is becuause before i was living with other people so even if they were concerned they still knew that there would be people checking up on me essentially. but now i am living alone and no one ever really checks physically on me so i am not sure if that will make them more concerned or not. i really dont know i mean i guess i have to wait and see but the closer the date gets the more i am worried about it and the more i am having flashbacks about it all.