Lived Experience Forum

[Serenity1]

I literally feel sick.

Thinking more & more about the appt. w Principal I had on Friday -

-How he asked me how I was feeling when I arrived & I was explaining to him the hiuge impact of the serious situation my daughter is facing at school is having on me- how he was taking NOTES the whole time I was talking about this- how I said it was affecting me so severely I felt close to breakdown- from Monday-(continuously until weds) when I saw the teacher be harsh & angry to my already distressed child & also myself-& how I only felt better when I went to my doctors on Wednesday & she wrote a letter of support for me & said she'd be my advocate---

why did I tell him that ?

- it was so weird he sat back very strangely nodding , taking notes & just letting me spill my story- I looked at him because I thought it was strange- just got a weird vibe -he wasn't having a conversation with me- he wasn't asking how I was because he cares or was interested-he was compiling evidence-( for my daughter mental health assessment this teus)-

- he said " oh I'm just listening "-( he wasn't he was NOTE TAKING-

it felt really odd & not right-

i can't be sure of what exactly I said because my anxiety was peaking & alarm bells were going off as it felt so weird- my instinct !- but he could write anything & LIE- as he LIED to me already & other teachers there have lied about me also-

THEN -AS SOON AS WE STARTED  SPEAKING ABOUT MY DAUGHTER 

HE PUT HIS PEN & NOTEPAD DOWN & DID NOT PICK IT UP AGAIN- FOR THE ENTIRE REMAINDER OF APPOINTMENT!!!

***WEWERE THERE TO TALK ABOUT MY CHILD HAVING SEVERE DIFFICULTIES & ANXIETY ABOUT SCHOOL TO THE POINT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO GO-***BUT HE DID NOT TAKE ONE NOTE ABOUT THIS!!!****

-Also In my Doctors Support letter she put I have significant mental health condition **ONLY so they can take that into consideration & be gentle & caring with Indi -that's all!!

- I felt a little uncomfortable about how she had worded it in her letter- "Indi has it more difficult than most children because of her mothers significant mental health condition "-

i felt it kind of made me sound to be a bad mother- but I didn't think to ask her to change it- cos of anxiety- & I gave it to him hoping that they would take it the right way & concentrate on the rest of the information which was all about my daughter .

- I feel that when my daughter has her mental health assessment this teus & they contact the principal he will try & convince them that all Indis problems are because of me & my mental health- WHICH he has said to me- he said " she is having anxiety Because when She gets to the classroom she is picking up on my anxiety "- because IV told the teacher a few times IV had anxiety in the classroom- IV said this for one reason ONLY so they are aware & can be helpful & compassionate- not to be used against me- which I feel is what they will absolutely are planning on doing-

-SHOULD I BE WORRIED?? Will they make out I am such a bad moth that CAMHS will have concerns over my daughters SAFETY?? I just know in my HEART & SOUL this is what he is planning on doing (to what degree I don't know)-& when I read that section of the doctors support letter- it didn't sit well with me- but I was not focused enough to get her to change it because I was distressed & my anxiety!

Principal Denys ANYTHING NEGATIVE is happening at school even though My daughter tells me herself & IV seen it with my own eyes! 

He refuses to believe there is a problem- says my child is making it up for negative attention 

he says they are doing so much for her & spending more time on her than any other child in the school-( I doubt that)-- BUT he cannot EXPLAIN to me what they are actually doing about her, or give me a plan of action to help ease her anxiety- I get absolutely no feedback at all about my daughter & my EMAILS GO UNANSWERED-or the answered but the serious concerns I have IGNORED !!

i am really worried about this- as I have told him I am considering making an official complaint to the education department-( not to threaten him - But in the hopes of him hearing, believing & doing something to help my daughter-& told him it will all be brought up at her CAMHS assessment- because THATS WHY WE ARE GOING!!

- If I am right & he is a narcissit planning a character assassination of me he will TAKE ME DOWN!!- you CANNOT WIN AGAINST NARCISSITS- I am REALLY SO CONCERNED & don't know what to do??

-I just want a healthy & safe environment for my daughter to learn & grow in- which she does NOT have atm- but he is assuring she does 😭😭😭 PLEASE Help 😭😭😭

[Appleblossom]

Dear@Serenity1 

I have no idea of the long term effects of your meeting with him.  I am hearing that you felt invisible boundaries of your family and the state were crossed.

I have experienced that both as a small child and as a mum.  It is scary.

I hope the final outcome is positive for you and your child.  

Currently I see a social worker who is particular about his note taking and has my son and I read them and comment or change the notes from prior session before we start each new session.

There are laws about FREEDOM of Information.  I was workiing in public service when it first came out.  There are limitations on what should be kept on file and who should see files.

Currently there are people called disability advocates ... you can google them if it becomes necessary.

Personally I have valued recieving many files from many different organisations in order to get a sense of my family's story.

Not all I read was true or pleasant to read, but all in all, it has been helpful. Files are only meant to be helpful.  You and your relationship with your daughter matters.  

You have felt the fear, but you have a lot of strength to have gotten this far.  Try and focus on your inner strength and imagine the best outcome ... (not worst)

You can aways let us know what happens if there is any consequences ....

I apologise as I cant always reply as this stuff is close to my heart and it is easy for me to get triggered.

Each human life is individual and unique.

Take Care

Apple

[Serenity1]

@Appleblossom - thankyou so much- I don't know wether I should take my daughter to this CAMHS appointment or not now - I have SUCH a BAD FEELING about this- ( sorry for short reply as we have to head out) will try & reply properly later 💖

[Serenity1]

@Appleblossom there is a three month wait to get an advocate I have been told because they are so busy with the NDIS applications 😭

[Appleblossom]

 @Serenity1 

I hope the CAMH appointment goes better than you thought.

[Serenity1]

@Appleblossom I'm not sure if I'm taking her - I don't know if it's a good or bad idea

[Appleblossom]

Tbh @Serenity1 

I cant tell you.  I am not sure if you are required to or not ...

I have had some hoooozie wopper reflections on all the state intervention in my family.  The things they did do and the things they did not do.  When careers were more important than support or honesty ... Ahem ... but they might front up at your door ... not sure what the situation is.

All I can do is send a heart and hope it works out for you.

Of course when fear gets triggered, emotions will be high ...

I lived in fear of losing my children to the welfare ... but actually in my as a mum case the welfare actually owed me some support ... thats another story. When I was little (6-10) I thought the sun shone from the social workers ... botties ...

[Serenity1]

Oh ok I didn't realise it was required of me to take her- I thought it was my choice @Appleblossom shit - now I wish I never agreed to this whole thing when my doctor suggested it- I thought it was just counselling- I didn't/ still don't know anything about it

[Serenity1]

The letter says it's a "choice" appointment & if they don't hear from me they assume I no longer need their services case will be closed- well I made the appointment-
So now I can either
1.) call up on the day & say we have gastro & I'll call back to reschedule - but don't call back -& instead ask my doctor for the 10sessions with a normal child psyc.
2.) it says " you may like to bring someone with you & we would encourage this"- I call up & say I'm trying to get an advocate to accompany us-(as there are some things I need to speak about that I can't say infront of Indi)- so will call back to make an appointment- & ask for the ten sessions w psyc instead 😭😭😭
@Appleblossom

[Serenity1]

@Appleblossom any ideas which sounds best? ^^