Oscillation between two mind sets

[Jynx]

@creative_writer yeah social media is deffo not my fav method of staying connected, but sometimes it's all we have hey. 

Yeah absolutely, we all grow at different paces. It's actually something that's happened a bit in my life lately, discovering that someone I was close to has not really grown alongside me, and now there's an ever-increasing gap in our capacity for mutual understanding and shared experience. It can be super sad. 

Haha you just reminded me of the fact that as a kid, I used to ride my razor scooter around and around in circles in our front yard, for HOURS, almost every night. It gave me space to think! I would spend the whole time daydreaming. But I look back and I'm just like "how did my parents not see that and think that maybe their child was a little neurospicy?!" But I know it's just cos they didn't have the understanding or knowledge of what ADHD actually looks like. 

I'm off for tonight, hope your weekend is what you need it to be 😊💜

[creative_writer]

@Jynx sometimes it’s hard to keep up on social media too. It’s kind of why a lot of my friendships end up fading away, I just can’t be bothered to initiate conversations a lot of the time. I think the push for busy lifestyles from society makes it hard to stay in contact as well. Sometimes we are just beyond exhausted to keep the relationship going. Messages can also feel sort of static, it’s very different to face to face contact. It’s also about whether it’s worth it, are we going to get much out of the friendship? No point in pursuing a friendship if the efforts and cons outweigh the gain. I struggle to find people on the same wavelength. I’m mostly in contact with family members and people on placement, that’s about it. Though the “outsider feeling” is there. I don’t if I just shut people out, so I don’t end up finding people I vibe with.

I also feel ND can present differently in girls, probably why it never got picked up. I never really saw myself as ADHD, I would become really quiet at school. I stimmed, but it was probably subtle.

I hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend💖

[Jynx]

Yeah totally @creative_writer I find social media quite draining, and don't really 'keep up' with it. Seems a poor substitute for connection - I mean I imagine it's meant to like, compliment it not replace it but it feels that way sometimes. And yeah, I legit despise hustle culture, it's so bad for us. A medieval peasant worked shorter hours than most modern adults! 

Yeah I think it's worth acknowledging that it's harder and harder for us all to create and maintain friendships. They're just as important as family and romantic relationships, but there's just fewer and fewer opportunities to meet people! I do hope you can find more opportunities to find 'your people' though, some other ND folk who are on your wavelength 🤞😉

Hope your week has started off okay 😊💜

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I feel older lifestyles had better social connection than modern lifestyles. People were also very active. My maternal grandpa rode a horse really well. I think there has been a movement towards being successful and rich, and that includes working long hours. There is only so much money can buy

I know I’ve been absent from the forums tonight. I haven’t really had that energy until now, had a shit night. The rumination started to kick in, it’s not really gone. Intrusive thoughts will be intrusive thoughts.

I sure hope my throat is good by tomorrow, it was getting on my nerves. Though I’m a bit better. I hope today has been smooth for you 💖

I wish you a good night. It’s time for bed for me

[Jynx]

All good hun, look after yourself @creative_writer and I hope the sickness abates soon 🤞💜

Chat to ya next time 😊

[creative_writer]

@Jynx it’s gotten worse, at least I’m COVID neg. Though my mum and brother are even sicker so are isolating so COVID germs aren’t transferred to us. At this point I don’t think I’ll be going at least in person tomorrow, have had the shivers, watery eyes, and annoying nose. I’m not even sure if I’ll even be doing tomorrow. I do have to wear a mask if I come in due to be a close contact. They gave me option of N95 and surgical if I do come in anytime soon. I’ll probably do surgical so I don’t trigger a migraine and end up with a huge rash on my face. I don’t know if that’s a ND thing too, my dad has very sensitive skin, In his youth he used to pull off tags all the time.

I feel like my ability to concentrate is suffering right now. It’s hard on a good day, but I’m able to manage when well. The struggle is worse when I’m not so well. These pesky bugs affect the ability to concentrate, and that is just frustrating when you already have ADHD. I haven’t done some stuff I was meant to do and can’t motivate myself, but I like my warm bed, helps with the shivering.

I hope you are doing okay 💖

[Jynx]

@creative_writer oh lawd you're really going through it aren't ya? Poor dear, I'm sorry to hear you're so sick! I get pretty miserable when I'm sick, but it's usually a good excuse to buy some chocolate 😋

Yeah I'm like your dad haha - my skin is soooo sensitive, I keep stitch unpickers in the house specifically so I can remove the WHOLE tag, not just cut it and leave jagged edges 😅 

Yeah not surprised your concentration is suffering!! Hard enough to focus when you're not shivering and sniffling and ya head feels thick n heavy. Do you have to keep doing all your uni work or could you take a wee break and just focus on recovery? 

[creative_writer]

@Jynx it feels awful, there are less distractions when you’re sick. I know I need to learn to sit in the discomfort, but it’s hard when you’ve been programmed to suppress emotions and distract yourself. Sometimes those distraction can mean wasting a lot of time on the internet, other times I’m productive.

I actually found a brand that allows you to pull off those tags gently and it doesn’t ruin the clothing. They’ve made it easy to get rid of tags. I like getting their basic items. I also love the feel of bamboo.

I can take a break if needed. I don’t want to go into work with red eyes and if I can concentrate. When I try to concentrate but can’t I feel even worse

[Jynx]

@creative_writer distraction, in my experience, is a super helpful, maybe even essential, coping skill. The trick is to notice when you're using it as an escape and not dealing with the emotional processing part of the equation. I reckon using it when you're sick is very much the right time to fling yourself headlong into something! And doesn't have to be something 'productive'... or to frame it another way, rest is an essential part of productivity, and should be part of our list of daily to-dos!

Ooh nice! Mind if I ask which brand? Sometimes even the seams of clothing irritates me though so my standards for clothing softness are incredibly high 😅

Yes please do take the time you need to recover!! When I get sick, I usually recover within a week - unless I push myself to go to work or attend to tasks, then it takes much longer. The more you rest now, the less you'll need to rest later!

[creative_writer]

@Jynx it is true I can distract myself with something that does not require a lot of concentration. If I am unable to do a task, I do tend to get into the self-critical mindset. I have those moments when I wait for my good old tea to kick in so I can do something. It’s not that I want to procrastinate, I want to feel the drive.

I buy some of my clothing from boody. They’re on the expensive side, but my skin is super sensitive. I’ve found them to be good for basics.

I know if I push on I’ll get worse. I’ll probably text one of my supervisors. It’s not only the respiratory symptoms that are bothering me, I think have GERD pain too. I ate lunch from outside, but didn’t eat much. When your gut is super sensitive it’s hard