Lived Experience Forum

[zeek]

i feel very disconnected from the world around me
i cant feel like im INTO life. i feel like im here but only halfway. its a struggle just being alive.
my psych said theres no medication. and i havent found a solution yet. ive stopped self-harming because even that doesnt ground me. nothing ever works. i wish to feel real again. i wish to feel the sweetness of the air around me.

[Jynx]

Hey @zeek, welcome to the forums. I'm glad you've found us, cos it can be so hard, and so painful, to feel disconnected all the time. I truly believe that connection is one of the biggest factors in being able to heal and grow from/through traumatic experiences. 

Just to let you know, I have edited your post to remove the self-harm method and just changed it to 'self-harming', in line with our Community Guidelines. If you have any questions or concerns about this, feel free to email us via team@saneforums.org

It sounds like you're experiencing some pretty intense dissociation, which can leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves and from reality. Does that resonate with you? Is this something you've always experienced, or is it new to you? It is a pretty common trauma response. Sometimes our survival-oriented nervous system can become like a faulty smoke alarm, going off at even the slightest perceived 'threat'. Perhaps dissociation protected you from a painful experience in the past, but now it is happening all the time and that can become very overwhelming. It is very treatable though, and hopefully it is something you can work on with your psych. Is your psych a trauma specialist at all? Could be worth looking into getting one, if you think it could help. 

I hope you find some connection and solidarity here on the forums. Reach out to us if ever you want someone to come sit with you - you can tag us by name (use @ symbol and choose from the drop down, or type out the name of the person you want to tag and choose from dropdown, so their name shows up in blue), or just use the generic @moderator tag and someone should be along 😉

[Jasper_123]

Hi @zeek , thanks for being open and sharing your experience with the forums! I can relate to your experiences deeply. Some things that have helped me are: grounding exercises (singing loudly, cold water swimming, saying aloud 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can smell etc. 

It can be really helpful to get to the root of this feeling of disconnect, have you looked into EMDR? As @Jynx said, do you remember when these feelings surfaced for you?

[PeppyPatti]

Hey @zeek  how are you today ? Today my youngest son works full-time and lives ( still ) with his high school friends but When he was younger he was medically sick and I spent years not feeling connected to anything.

I would say like a mantra. I would think 'Stay safe,stay kind,' which helped. 

But I do like what @Jasper_123 writes - 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can smell etc. 

One night someone invited me out for dinner and when we left the restaurant, I i imagined my body flying above my body. I then kept that little saying up ' Stay safe, stay kind. ' 

[8ppleTree]

Hi @zeek 

I'm so sorry you're feeling in-between. You deserve to feel safe, and comfortable. I can honestly say that grounding practices have been helpful, but the best I have ever experienced, was equine therapy. There is something so healing about these beautiful animals. If you have the opportunity to ride, or just be around them, do try 🙂 They are earth and connection. 

Cold water swimming is also great, @Jasper_123 knows where it's at 🙂 Love it! Lots of good ideas from everyone here @PeppyPatti @Jynx! Really hope you find some relief. 

Take care x