Lived Experience Forum

[Eden1919]

i feel really bad and have been for the last week or so and i dont know what is causing it or why i feel bad or anything like that i just feel really bad and like sometimes i have been thinking about suicide (i am safe at the moment) like it takes a lot for me to get to that point and idk why but like i keep just thinking i should just not be around anymore like i am wasting everyones time and idk i just want to cry all the time but i cant even do that. and i just want to curl up in a ball and hide idk i am really confused but i just dont feel ok. everything i am trying to feel better isnt working. 

[DaydreamNation]

Hi Eden

I can hear how much you're hurting right now. Really glad to hear you are safe, and please remember to reach out if that changes. 

It can be really scary and distressing having those thoughts. It sounds like your usual self care strategies are not helping as much as they usually would at the moment. It is great that you are reaching out when feeling like this so you know you're not alone in it all.

It might be about weathering the storm and doing your best to stay safe, and consider ways that  can help you feel soothed (gentle music, a nice shower, a cuddly toy or nice blanket, speaking to a helpline) I hope you feel better and can get some rest.

[PeppyPatti]

Dear @Eden1919 

Oh look we are both ' senior contributors.' that means you've been writing a little while on Sane forums doesn't it ? 

I can relate to your post because iv spent a long time curled up in a fetal position wondering why I'm here. 

Maybe you can, when your ready to, you can make yourself a cuppa and possibly write down a tiny little step what you might like to do when your ready ? 🙂  Even maybe something like just going for a walk up and down the street and 

Perhaps just focus on the wind that softly goes past your body ? ❣️

Or maybe, the sun in the sky ? 🌻 

Sometimes maybe if you concentrate on something different around you you could shift old feelings around you ? 

Thinking about you 

[NatureLover]

Sorry to hear, @Eden1919  😢

Hope the SI goes away very soon 🤞

[8ppleTree]

Hey @Eden1919 

Just wanted to say that I hope you're doing ok and reaching out for supports, if you need.

Sending you well-wishes x 

[HelloKitty1981]

@Eden1919 I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way at the moment and it can be a hard trek to get out of that feeling at times, especially when we as humans are very much ruled by our own thoughts and emotions.

What we tell ourselves both conciously and subconciously has a lot to do with how we react, think and feel in our environment.This can impact on a persons life in many different ways, that it can be hard to seen a way back to happiness, hope, feeling settled and less emotional/stressed.

It is good that you reached out and thats a positive step😊.  It may take time for you to reach your break though. Each person's journey is different. 

Thank you for sharing that took a lot of courage. 

Some of the things that have helped me were in these times were venting to others that I trusted about my feelings. Writing it down and out of your headspace can also help process those thoughts and feelings. Speaking to professionals like SANE and going to your GP to access referral services to additional supports that may be of help.

I found taking myself to the beach or go for a long walk, window shopping, watching a funny movie, being around family and friends really helped me at times so I didn't feel so alone in my own headspace. 

We are always here to provide a safe place to chat🤗

[Tilz]

@Eden1919  Hi how are you feeling now? There are many ups and down in life. We have to face all those. Lets hold hand and climb the ups. What made you upset? If there is no exact reason don't follow that up. Lets restart. Do you know restart give fresh beginning. 

[Eden1919]

@PeppyPatti @NatureLover @8ppleTree @HelloKitty1981 @Tilz  and anyone i have missed thank you all for the replies i have been trying to take it easy and not put too much pressure on myself today but i am still struggling idk why i think maybe i am just in another depressive episode maybe idk it doesnt feel exactly like normal depression for me so i am really not sure what is going on but i am trying my best to get through it and out the other end. 

[8ppleTree]

Hey @Eden1919 

Glad to hear you're pushing through 🙂

You mentioned it doesn't feel like other episodes you've had. It might be worth checking in with your health care supports and looking into it a bit, if it hasn't shifted with the usual methods?

Hope you have the chance to relax and enjoy some of the day with your animals today.

Take it easy x