Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

ask away @Spookums 😊 we are here for you 

@Ru-bee 

[Spookums]

I do have a question for people who experience hypomania.

Do your hypomanic episodes ever contain elements that border on delusion? 

I have been told that you absolutely do not get delusions with hypomania, but I had an experience earlier in the year that had left me confused about it. 

In my case, hypomanic episodes have been pretty infrequent in comparison to depressive episodes. Earlier this year, however I had an experience that I can't quite wrap my head around. I'm not sure exactly when the mood started, but I DO remember finishing reading a book and having this sudden OVERWHELMING sense of... Like... Awe, or something. I couldn't catch my breath. I felt like I was on the verge of an epiphany... Although I couldn't understand anything about the nature of this epiphany.

I started to feel like God was trying to talk to me. But, while I was very religious as a teenager, I am essentially an atheist now. Do I thought to myself, "Perhaps THE UNIVERSE is trying to talk to me", but that didn't sound right, either. I was having all over the house trying to figure out what was going on because I knew it had to be SOMETHING. Anyway, after a while I came to the conclusion that I, MYSELF, must be God. It made for much sense at the time and seemed to explain things about my life.

Anyway, this while thing lasted maybe 24 hours or so, so I'm pretty sure it couldn't have been mania, but I was just wondering if anyone else had similar (or similarly ill-fitting official descriptions) with hypomania?

[Dimity]

Hello @Spookums 

I'm not sure if the following is helpful.

The whole language and terminology of diagnosis is a bit obscure and has changed. I was diagnosed Bipolar (not 1

 or 2) and had episodes where I was agitated, psychotic or delusional and didn't sleep for a night or two.  Noone talked to me about mania vs hypomania. But mostly I was extremely depressed. I'd previously been diagnosed with schizophrenia or BPD (I was told you could have psychotic breaks with BPD). 

I guess the main purpose of diagnosis is probably categorisation and establishing a framework for treatment options. Your psychiatrist might have a view on what's a useful interpretation of your experience. They'd be more likely to be able to evaluate the nuances of the phases and if you've crossed a threshold. At one stage I was on a mood stabiliser that seemed to deescalate the rate of progression and minimise the agitation to an hour or two so I concluded it's possible the degree of mania is all on a spectrum whether treated or untreated rather than being disparate disorders.