Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

ask away @Spookums 😊 we are here for you 

@Ru-bee 

[Spookums]

I do have a question for people who experience hypomania.

Do your hypomanic episodes ever contain elements that border on delusion? 

I have been told that you absolutely do not get delusions with hypomania, but I had an experience earlier in the year that had left me confused about it. 

In my case, hypomanic episodes have been pretty infrequent in comparison to depressive episodes. Earlier this year, however I had an experience that I can't quite wrap my head around. I'm not sure exactly when the mood started, but I DO remember finishing reading a book and having this sudden OVERWHELMING sense of... Like... Awe, or something. I couldn't catch my breath. I felt like I was on the verge of an epiphany... Although I couldn't understand anything about the nature of this epiphany.

I started to feel like God was trying to talk to me. But, while I was very religious as a teenager, I am essentially an atheist now. Do I thought to myself, "Perhaps THE UNIVERSE is trying to talk to me", but that didn't sound right, either. I was having all over the house trying to figure out what was going on because I knew it had to be SOMETHING. Anyway, after a while I came to the conclusion that I, MYSELF, must be God. It made for much sense at the time and seemed to explain things about my life.

Anyway, this while thing lasted maybe 24 hours or so, so I'm pretty sure it couldn't have been mania, but I was just wondering if anyone else had similar (or similarly ill-fitting official descriptions) with hypomania?

[Dimity]

Hello @Spookums 

I'm not sure if the following is helpful.

The whole language and terminology of diagnosis is a bit obscure and has changed. I was diagnosed Bipolar (not 1

 or 2) and had episodes where I was agitated, psychotic or delusional and didn't sleep for a night or two.  Noone talked to me about mania vs hypomania. But mostly I was extremely depressed. I'd previously been diagnosed with schizophrenia or BPD (I was told you could have psychotic breaks with BPD). 

I guess the main purpose of diagnosis is probably categorisation and establishing a framework for treatment options. Your psychiatrist might have a view on what's a useful interpretation of your experience. They'd be more likely to be able to evaluate the nuances of the phases and if you've crossed a threshold. At one stage I was on a mood stabiliser that seemed to deescalate the rate of progression and minimise the agitation to an hour or two so I concluded it's possible the degree of mania is all on a spectrum whether treated or untreated rather than being disparate disorders.

[Spookums]

Thank you @Dimity , that DOES help.

I think I have a bit of a problem where I'm one of those people who likes it when things fit into neat little boxes with clear labels and everything is nice and organised and distinct.

Even though I KNOW this isn't actually how the world works, I sometimes do need reminding, LoL.

[BP1]

Awesome hopefully I will hear from more members soon

[Dimity]

Hello @BP1 is there anything in particular you'd like to talk about? I'm guessing from your name you've been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hope you're doing OK.

[MermaidHair]

Hello @Dimity @Shaz51 @BP1 @Spookums @KirSa_EnigmA  it has been awhile since I have checked in here, I see we have a few new people too 🤗

 How is everybody doing?

I've been ebbing and flowing as usual and quietly happy that it's the first winter in years I've not had a seasonal depressive episode (as yet, touch wood!) 

[Dimity]

Hello @MermaidHair . Congrats on dodging SAD this year. Have you done anything differently?

I've been battling a bit with health issues lately. I'm counting down the weeks to a scary op. 

[MermaidHair]

Thanks @Dimity! I was dreading the winter hitting because last year was so severe. I haven't done anything differently on purpose but coincidently I have spent more time outdoors, my kids have done winter sports for the first time this year which has required a lot afternoons and weekends out and about. I haven't enjoyed being out in the cold with people but it sure beats depression!

Oh that is not good, I'm sorry your health is giving you grief. Hopefully the op will relieve some of it for you? How long do you have to go?

[Dimity]

Yes the daylight and being out and about could have made quite a difference @MermaidHair  . I hope you've staved off the SAD this season and it doesn't sneak back.

The op is in a fortnight. I went overboard with contingency planning and badgered people and services in my anxiety but there's actually not much I can do. The risk is small but things have gone wrong for me in the past.