Lived Experience Forum

[Dimity]

It's great the comic clicked for both you and your husband @Spookums . Looks good - 24 pages at just over $1/page at a wellknown bookshop. I might get it.

[Appleblossom]

@Dimity 

Thank you for saying you missed me. It feels real and gentle and caring. Funny how friendship can grow online.

Sending you as many heartfelt thoughts as possible in your upcoming medical challenges.

Didnt realise you also may have had “mixed state”… my pdoc doesn’t hold to it…too much… Guess my state wardship as a kid

I definitely had a long long period of major depression after all the deaths…in mid 20s.

Later my more up moods were more a gradual recovery from those bereavement processes. It has not been consistent throughout my life but not pronounced enough to be polarised…. and I started in science so have reflected on all that stuff….glad we are not machines.

@Spookums 

Glad you found a sense of being seen… in that cartoon… art and humour can bypass the verbal and logical aspects of life.

There are various Mad Studies and Mad Pride movements and activists.

Ron Unger… runs a reputable CBTp course… acknowledging Visions and Voices etc….

Matt Ball is interesting with his Humane clinic 

[MermaidHair]

I hear you @BP1 , mental health in general can be so misunderstood but particularly complex metal health like bipolar disorder. Even myself if I wasn't diagnosed and forced to understand it, I wouldn't have been able to understand it. Connecting with others with lived experience has been the single most helpful thing in my journey to recovery.

@Spookums I am going to have to check this comic out! I love that it resonated so much with you and that even your husband was able to understand from it, such a validating response from him. 

[KirSa_EnigmA]

This stuff sounds really familiar to me @Spookums 

"verge of an epiphany" "universe talking to me" "overwhelming sense of awe" 

Yep, big time.  

I've spent a lifetime chasing it.  (I'm in 2 minds [heh] if that's the right thing to do though!)

It seems people don't like to talk directly about this stuff much around here though... as though having an opinion might offend someone. 

I'm absolutely atheist... but there's definitely something 'religious' about my search for this feeling. 

Nothing like it.  Mania/delusion or whatever.  It's pretty incredible. 

~ K

[KirSa_EnigmA]

@Spookums - also... what book were you reading?  

[Spookums]

@KirSa_EnigmA 

Sorry for the late reply. Have but been in a good place. 

I was really interested to hear your own thoughts regarding spiritual thoughts and experiences. There's something validating about hearing people have gone through similar things. I feel like such a weirdo must if the time.

I'm pretty sure the book was the Prometheus graphic novel by Alan Moore.

[KirSa_EnigmA]

I haven't read the graphic novel you mentioned, but it sure looks interesting. The art is incredible! I can see how it would send you to a place of deep thought and introspection... and even cause an epiphany or two! 

As for your experience... I think I already mentioned how familiar it sounded to me. 

I've had very similar experiences to yours over the course of my life. A few, in particular, that were quite paradigm shifting. 

You mentioned coming to the conclusion that you yourself were God. And I say good for you!

I think it's the world that is upside down on this one—thinking there's one unique almighty being in charge of everything—pfft, lol—now that's crazy! (Yeah, there's other religions with their own flavour of insanity, but this one is convenient, so I'll leave the rest for the readers to figure out.)

It is not at all surprising to me that you've come to this conclusion while reading a graphic novel that has strong elements of mythology, particularly Greek and Egyptian.  While I haven't read it, those religions are much more aligned with the idea that powers lie within us rather than without. 

I must say... I've become quite frustrated with my experience with the diagnosis and treatment of 'bipolar'. It seems the industry is much more concerned with ticking boxes in a checklist and prescribing medication... rather than forming an actual understanding of the person and their individual experience. 

If you experienced this... you experienced this. Call it whatever you like—mania, hypomania, a spiritual experience, an epiphany, a revelation, a paradigm shift, or a religious experience—or just a great f*ing book. It doesn't matter much except if you're seeking external guidance and really struggle with managing these feelings.

In which case, look for answers... but be careful thinking that other people might have them.  

It's entirely possible that the answer you found in the book has more basis in reality than the 'diagnosis' you've received.  (I'll probably cop some flack for saying that haha!) 

It's my sincere opinion that we're all Gods within the scope of our understanding and control of the world/universe around us.  Very small gods... but gods none the less.  And that's actually really damn empowering.  

So... use your powers for good 🙂 

~ K 

p.s. You might find it interesting to do a bit of research into some alternative theories of mind around the nature of consciousness.  It can get pretty abstract... but one of my favourite ideas comes from Julian Jaynes (1920-1997) - a psychology professor at Yale & Prinston for over 25 years.  I won't spoil the ride for you, but let's just say that, for me anyway, the insights have been (and still are) just as mind blowing.   

[Shaz51]

Hello @PerthBipolarII 

Come and meet some awesome members @KirSa_EnigmA , @Spookums. @MermaidHair. @Appleblossom , @Dimity 

[PerthBipolarII]

Thank you @Shaz51 - looking forward to connecting 👍

[Dimity]

Hello @PerthBipolarII and welcome