Lived Experience Forum

[MermaidHair]

@Dimity I totally get that, I have health anxiety so even rare complications and side affects have me thinking it will probably be me. I think surgery is a big and nerve wracking think regardless!

I'm sure it is going to go great but most of all hopefully it solves some problems for you and you can feel a lot better once recovered 💜

[Dimity]

Thanks @MermaidHair 

[BP1]

@Spookums Hi I joined this forum as I found that people in my life that don't have BP don't understand me and I don't want to explain to everyone what it means to have it. 

I met a really good friend a year ago and we just clicked and then we worked out that we both have BP. I hope to learn from you all and hopefully my challenges/failures in my life might be able to help others. 

[BP1]

Hi @Dimity I good thanks. 

There isn't anything in particular I want to talk about. Through this forum I was hoping to connect with more of our community and help others through my experiences as I was 46 years old when I was diagnosed and also I would like to chat with others and hopefully get some inspiration and information from others. 

Please excuse my writing as I come from a trade background and writing is one of my weaknesses 

[Dimity]

All good @BP1 

Yes sharing information and experiences on the forums is good, it's helped me a lot.

Are you a night owl? I am too but I'm trying to reset my body clock

[Appleblossom]

@Spookums 

there seems to be a growing body of interest in.shamanism and spirituality as part of psychotic experiences…. I like the idea that we all have a spark of the divine in us…. It helps me feel connected but stops me inflating my sense of importance….as that means there are many gods floating around…. And maybe even struggling… so what is god anyway…. Just riffing and saying hello…

Hello @BP1 @welcome. 

It has been suggested I may have Bipolar mixed state…. But my psychiatrist is not really hard and fast on any diagnosis….now he is going with CPTSD.

@Dimity @Shaz51 @MermaidHair 

[Appleblossom]

@KirSa_EnigmA 

just read your posts. Couple pages back …. Interesting

…sometimes the turn around on the forum is slow…. In the old days if a week passed between responses it still helped…. and eventually a sense of community evolved ….

@Spookums

[Spookums]

Hi @BP1 , I get what you mean about people just not understanding (sometimes even when they have the best intentions). That's something I've really struggled with and what finally lead me here. I'm going to try and tag others in this because I think it might be if interest (I'm not sorry experienced with this yet, so hopefully I don't mess up and add the wrong people- @Dimity @Appleblossom @MermaidHair @Shaz51 )

One thing I found very recently that helped, was an autobiographical comic published earlier this year by a comic creator I really love, Keezy Young. Keezy has Bipolar 1 and wrote the comic "Sunflowers" about their experiences. I wasn't sure I would relate, seeing I have Bipolar 2, but, man, it blew me away.

I have it to my husband to read and after he put it down he came up and asked "Is that really what it's like?" I replied, "Well, I haven't experienced a manic episode because I have Bipolar 2, but otherwise yeah, pretty much". Then he gave me a big hug. It was like, after all these years, something finally clicked. 

That's not to say he necessarily understands everything fully, and nor would I expect him too, but it definitely helped.

[Spookums]

Hey @Appleblossom . That's really interesting what you said about spirituality and psychosis. I wonder if people have studied/written about this? It seems like an interesting topic and if like to learn more.

[Dimity]

Nice to see you @Appleblossom .

Hmm c-ptsd seems to have many and varied repercussions from the little I've read. I've been leaning towards c-ptsd myself as something I recognise and can perhaps learn to work around. Ain't easy. Yeah was bipolar mixed state perhaps for me too but who knows, while my diagnosis changed over the decades the meds didn't much. 

So. If c-ptsd we accept that the-child-that-we-were had no control or agency over what befell us. (Or our genetics either). We do what we can.

Blue Knot seem to have lovely people, I've called a couple of times. They gave me the courage to ask for trauma-informed counselling. 

I've tried EMDR which was working but I was dumped because of too many current distractions (health issues and family stuff). Maybe I'll get back to it. Maybe then schema therapy will help me undo my bad habits and get a life. All hypothetical but actually hopeful. If my medical stuff is sorted in 4-5 months as planned I'll be launching into it God willing and weather permitting (DVWP was the family acronym). 

Hope to see you here again soon - I've missed you. Happy musicking.