05-09-2019 07:23 PM
Hi everyone something happened last night with son2. It has been coming for awhile and no one is surprised least of all me as I have been makint excuses for months now .... one of his voices threatened me in a very violent way. Luckily he could talk the voice down and my daughter was here but nonetheless it has made me realise that son2 will have to go to a group home in the near future.
He is too big for me to handle when he gets out of control angry and the voices are at him. It just makes me sad that I will never be able to fix him. He will always have these nasty voices at him regardless of medications. He will never be totally free and will always be paranoid and thinking his family are out to get him.
It is so unfair. I could kid myself when he was younger that I could fix his problems. But it is impossible. I can't make it better and being a mum you are meant to be able to fix things for your children and I cannot. I feel a total failure...
It just hurts so much. Thinking bad thoughts tonight. Bad thoughts are surrounding me. Life shouldnt hold so much pain.
05-09-2019 07:33 PM
Hugs @greenpea ❤️❤️❤️
You need to be safe. I am so sorry that this has happened. It must be so difficult. Thinking of you.
05-09-2019 07:38 PM
@Gazza75 Thank you Gazza75 for your quick reply. I really needed it . I know I have to be safe but my heart tells me otherwise. He is my son and he is sick and I cannot fix his illness and it breaks my heart.
05-09-2019 07:39 PM
05-09-2019 07:43 PM
@outlander Thank you outlander for your kind words really appreciate them. I don't know it is heart breaking. He is so vulnerable and yet so dangerous too it is so hard ... I really dont want to do anything but hurt myself
05-09-2019 07:49 PM - edited 05-09-2019 08:03 PM
not wanting to do anything but hurt yourself is a really hard place to be in. I can definently see how it would be heartbreaking but please don't go blaming yourself. Sometimes its the nature of mental health and its bloody awful to watch our loved ones suffer from them.
do you think you can keep yourself safe? im not going anywhere so can keep chatting here if that is helpful?
do you have any coping strategies that is normally helpful?
05-09-2019 07:49 PM
Hi there @greenpea
Whitehawk here, the moderator. I am sorry to learn that you are in a very hard place this evening. I really hope that you can find some alternatives to hurting yourself. off the forum I will send you an email to offer you some support. We are all very much in your corner this evening.
If you need urgent assistance, see Need help now
For mental health information, guidance and referrals, see the SANE Help Centre
SANE Forums is published by SANE Australia with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health
SANE Australia ABN 92006533606
PO Box 226 South Melbourne 3205 Australia